(["pages":({"Introduction to death, or what to do when your blood runs out","
%^RED%^%^BOLD%^Prologue Introduction to Death Page 1%^RESET%^
%^RESET%^
%^BOLD%^Introduction to Death%^RESET%^
Welcome to the Introduction to Death (or what to do when your blood runs out). This
books gives a quick guide to all dead people in dealing with death. It outlines how to
cope with death and what organisations exist to make your transition from life into death
just that much more pleasurable.
These pages and compiled and updated by the dead imps of Kilmarizan. They suffered from
a tragic accident with an egg beater and a sword and have been stuck in the afterlife
ever since. After a few thousand years they decided it would be useful to do something
to pass the time. They then started this book and began delivering it to newly dead
things, such as yourself.
I hope you find reading this book fun and enjoyable. Remember dying is not an end, it is
merely a different way of looking at an end.
This book has 3 chapters, they are:
Chapter 1 - Oh no! I have died! What now!
Chapter 2 - Surviving death.
Chapter 3 - I am so lost, how do I get home?
","
%^RED%^%^BOLD%^Chapter 1 Oh no! I have died! What now? Page 2%^RESET%^
%^RESET%^
%^BOLD%^Oh no! I have died! What now?%^RESET%^
You have died. You are now in the afterlife. What should you do now? Philosophers have
been asking this question since the dawn of time, the best answer they have come up with
is: Make it up as you go along. Things you probably wish to worry about once you have
died are finding a way to come back to life and making sure somebody does not run off
with all your ill begotten... I mean hard earned equipment. The following chapter will
go into this subject in more depth. Finally; Do not panic!, Death is not the end. You
have much life ahead of you. Leap and jump for joy in the knowledge you have now the
experienced the final pain; that pain which will only occur once in your now very short
life. Be refreshed by the last squirming hold on the land of living and let yourself be
free to truly appreciate the freshness of the air and the tang of the afterlife.
To help you on your way, here are some quotes from famous people after they died:
Goodie Hamstring said 'Well done, I thought you had missed it there'
The Abbot of the Listeners said 'I have what you might call a season ticket'
Blackadder said 'Bugger'
Gag Halfrunt said 'Death, he's just this guy you know?'
Sigmund Frjjjed said 'Tell me death, why is that you cannot remember how the little
horse shaped ones move?'
Death doesn't care if people are good or bad, so long as they are punctual. And kind to
cats.
","
%^RED%^%^BOLD%^Chapter 2 Surviving death Page 3%^RESET%^
%^RESET%^
%^BOLD%^Surviving death%^RESET%^
Now you are dead, you want to come back to life? If so, there are several methods of
doing so. One method is to track down a priest who has the right connections with the
gods, they will be able to raise you from the dead and give you a new body. One of the
other methods is to get to the Temple of Small Gods in Ankh-Morpork and track down Harry.
Harry (out of the goodness of his heart, assuming you have not killed him recently) will
bring you back to life.
There are a few other locations scattered around in the surroundings of Ankh-Morpork and
the Ramtops to get raised, look and ye shall find.
",}),"owner":"windy",])
