accuse 0 5
Accuse who??
#
You look accusingly at $M.
$n looks accusingly at $N.
$n looks accusingly at you.
Accuse somebody who's not even there??
You accuse yourself.
$n seems to have a bad conscience.

applaud 0 0
Clap, clap, clap.
$n gives a round of applause.
#

beg 0 0
You beg the gods for mercy.  (No way you're gonna get it! :-))
The gods fall down laughing at $n's request for mercy.
You desperately try to squeeze a few coins from $M.
$n begs you for money.  You gratiously let $m peep at your fortune.
$n begs $N for a dime or two -- or twenty!
Your money-lender seems to be out for the moment.
How? - begging yourself for money doesn't help.
#

bleed 0 0
You bleed profusely, making an awful mess...
$n bleeds profusely, making an awful mess...
#

blush 0 0
Your cheeks are burning.
$n blushes.
#

bounce 0 0
BOIINNNNNNGG!
$n bounces around.
#

bow 0 5
You bow deeply.
$n bows deeply.
You bow before $M.
$n bows before $N.
$n bows before you.
Who's that?
You kiss your toes.
$n folds up like a jacknife and kisses $s own toes.

brb 0 0
Come back soon!
$n will be right back!
#

burp 0 0
You burp loudly.
$n burps loudly.
#

cackle 0 0
You cackle gleefully.
$n throws back $s head and cackles with insane glee!
#

chuckle 0 0
You chuckle politely.
$n chuckles politely.
#

clap 0 0
You clap your small hands together.
$n shows $s approval by clapping $s small hands together.
#

comb 0 0
You comb your hair -- perfect.
$n combs $s hair, what a dashing specimen!
You patiently untangle $N's hair -- what a mess!
$n tries patiently to untangle $N's hair.
$n pulls your hair in an attempt to comb it.
That person is not here.
You pull your hair, but it will not be combed.
$n tries to comb $s tangled hair.

comfort 0 5
Do you feel uncomfortable?
#
You comfort $M.
$n comforts $N.
$n comforts you.
Comfort who?
You make a vain attempt to comfort yourself.
#

cough 0 0
Yuck, try to cover your mouth next time!
$n coughs loudly.
#

cringe 1 0
You cringe in terror.
$n cringes in terror!
You cringe away from $M.
$n cringes away from $N in mortal terror.
$n cringes away from you.
I don't see anyone by that name here.. what are you afraid of?
I beg your pardon?
#

cry 0 5
Waaaaah..
$n bursts into tears.
You cry on $S shoulder.
$n cries on $N's shoulder.
$n cries on your shoulder.
Who's that?
You cry to yourself.
$n sobs quietly to $mself.

cuddle 1 5
Who do you feel like cuddling today?
#
You cuddle $M.
$n cuddles $N.
$n cuddles you.
They aren't here.
You must feel very cuddly indeed.  :)
#

curse 0 0
You swear loudly for a long time.
$n swears: #@*"*&^$$%@*&!!!!!!
#

curtsey 0 0
You curtsey to your audience.
$n curtseys gracefully.
#

dance 1 8
Feels silly, doesn't it?
$n tries to dance breakdance but nearly breaks $s neck!
You lead $M to the dancefloor.
$n sends $N across the dancefloor.
$n sends you across the dancefloor.
Eh, WHO?
You skip and dance around by yourself.
$n skips a light Fandango.

daydream 1 0
You dream of better times.
$n looks absent-minded, $s eyes staring into space.
#

drool 1 0
You start to drool.
$n starts to drool.
You drool all over $N.
$n drools all over $N.
$n drools all over you.
Pardon??
Sure, go ahead and drool...yuk!
$n drools on $mself.  What a sight.

embrace 0 0 
You reach but come away empty.  :(
$n reaches out for an embrace, but no one is there.
You embrace $M warmly.
$n embraces $N warmly.
$n embraces you warmly.
Alas, your embracee is not here.
You embrace yourself??  
$n wraps his arms around himself for a warm self-embrace.

fart 0 0
Where are your manners?
$n lets off a real rip-roarer!
#

flip 0 0
You flip head over heels.
$n flips head over heels.
#

flirt 1 5
You flirt outrageously.
$n flirts outragously.
You flirt outrageously with $N.
$n flirts outrageously with $N.
$n flirts outrageously with you.
Sorry, your dearly beloved is not around.
You flirt with yourself.  Must look stupid.
$n thinks $e is the most wonderful person in the world.

fondle 0 5
Who needs to be fondled?
#
You fondly fondle $M.
$n fondly fondles $N.
$n fondly fondles you.
You fondly try to fondle someone not in the room, but who cares.
You fondly fondle yourself, feels funny doesn't it?
$n fondly fondles $mself -- this is going too far!!

french 0 0
French whom??
#
You give $N a long and passionate kiss, it seems to take forever...
$n kisses $N passionately.
$n gives you a long and passionate kiss, it seems to take forever...
Your heart is filled with despair as that person is not here.
You gather yourself in your arms and try to kiss yourself.
$n makes an attempt at kissing $mself.

frown 0 0
What's bothering you?
$n frowns.
#

fume 1 5
Take it easy now!  Count to ten, very slowly.
$n grits $s teeth and fumes with rage.
You stare at $M, fuming.
$n stares at $N, fuming with rage.
$n stares at you, fuming with rage!
Fume away.. they ain't here.
That's right - hate yourself!
$n clenches $s fists and stomps his feet, fuming with anger.

gasp 0 0
You gasp in astonishment.
$n gasps in astonishment.
#

giggle 0 0
You giggle.
$n giggles.
#

glare 0 5
You glare at nothing in particular.
$n glares around $m.
You glare icily at $M.
$n glares at $N.
$n glares icily at you, you feel cold to your bones.
You try to glare at somebody who is not present.
You glare icily at your feet, they are suddenly very cold.
$n glares at $s feet, what is bothering $m?

greet 0 0
Greet Who?
#
You greet $m with a light kiss on his cheek.
$n greets $N with a light kiss on its cheek.
$n greets you with a light kiss on your cheek.
Please -- try someone who is here?
So, you've finally discovered yourself!
$n greets $mself.. $e always was a strange one.

grin 0 0
You grin evilly.
$n grins evilly.
#

groan 0 0
You groan loudly.
$n groans loudly.
#

grope 0 5
Whom do you wish to grope??
#
Well, what sort of noise do you expect here?
$n gropes $N.
$n gropes you.
Try someone who's here.
You grope yourself -- YUCK.
$n gropes $mself -- YUCK.

grovel 1 0
You grovel in the dirt.
$n grovels in the dirt.
You grovel before $M
$n grovels in the dirt before $N.
$n grovels in the dirt before you.
Who?
That seems a little silly to me..
#

growl 0 0
Grrrrrrrrrr...
$n growls.
#

hiccup 0 0
*HIC*
$n hiccups.
#

hug 1 5
Hug who?
#
You hug $M.
$n hugs $N.
$n hugs you.
Sorry, friend, I can't see that person here.
You hug yourself.
$n hugs $mself.

kiss 0 0
Isn't there someone you want to kiss?
#
You kiss $M.
$n kisses $N.
$n kisses you.
Never around when required.
All the lonely people :(
#

laugh 0 0
You fall down laughing.
$n falls down laughing.
#

lick 0 0
You lick your mouth and smile.
$n licks $s mouth and smiles.
You lick $M.
$n licks $N.
$n licks you.
Lick away, nobody's here with that name.
You lick yourself.
$n licks $mself -- YUCK.

love 0 0
You love the whole world.
$n loves everybody in the world.
You tell your true feelings to $N.
$n whispers softly to $N.
$n whispers to you sweet words of love.
Alas, your love is not present...
Well, we already know you love yourself (lucky someone does!)
$n loves $mself, can you believe it?

massage 0 0
Massage what, thin air?
#
You gently massage $N's shoulders.
$n massages $N's shoulders.
$n gently massages your shoulders...ahhhhhhhhhh...
You can only massage someone in the same room as you.
You practise yoga as you try to massage yourself.
$n gives a show on yoga-positions, trying to massage $mself.

moan 0 0
You start to moan.
$n starts moaning.
#

nibble 0 0
Nibble on who?
#
You nibble on $N's ear.
$n nibbles on $N's ear.
$n nibbles on your ear.
Sorry, not here, better go back to dreaming about it.
You nibble on your OWN ear???????????????????
$n nibbles on $s OWN ear (I wonder how it is done!!).

nod 1 0
You nod solemnly.
$n nods solemnly.
#

nudge 0 0
Nudge?  Nudge???  The HELL you say!!!!
#
You nudge $M with your elbow.
$n nudges $N suggestively with $s elbow.
$n nudges you suggestively.  You two have an understanding.
Eh?  That person isn't here, you know.
Well, just nudge yourself, but how do you get your elbow in that position?
$n nudges $mself with $s elbows, making $m look like a large chicken.

nuzzle 1 5
Nuzzle who??
#
You nuzzle $S neck softly.
$n softly nuzzles $N's neck.
$n softly nuzzles your neck.
No.. they aren't here..
I'm sorry, friend, but that's impossible.
#

pat 0 0
Pat who??
#
You pat $N on $S head.
$n pats $N on $S head.
$n pats you on your head.
Who, where, what??
You pat yourself on your head, very reassuring.
$n pats $mself on the head.

peer 1 0
You peer around you, uncertain that what you see is actually true.
$n peers around, looking as if $e has trouble seeing everything clearly.
#

point 1 0
You point whereto?
$n points in all directions, seemingly confused.
You point at $M -- $E DOES look funny.
$n muffles a laugh, pointing at $N.
$n points at you... how rude!
You must have a VERY long index-finger...
You point at yourself.  Insinuating something?
$n points at $mself, suggesting that the center of matters is $e.

poke 0 0
Poke who??
#
You poke $M in the ribs.
$n pokes $N in the ribs.
$n pokes you in the ribs.
You can't poke someone who's not here!
You poke yourself in the ribs, feeling very silly.
$n pokes $mself in the ribs, looking very sheepish.

ponder 1 0
You ponder over matters as they appear to you at this moment.
$n sinks deeply into $s own thoughts.
#

pout 0 0
Ah, don't take it so hard.
$n pouts.
#

pray 0 0
You feel righteous, and maybe a little foolish.
$n begs and grovels to the powers that be.
You crawl in the dust before $M.
$n falls down and grovels in the dirt before $N.
$n kisses the dirt at your feet.
No such person around; your prayers vanish into the endless voids.
Talk about narcissism...
$n performs some strange yoga-exercises and mumbles a prayer to $mself.

puke 0 0
You puke.
$n pukes.
You puke on $M.
$n pukes on $N.
$n pukes on your clothes!
Once again?
You puke on yourself.
$n pukes on $s clothes.

punch 0 0
Punch the air?  Sure, go ahead, fine by me...
$n starts shadow-boxing.
You punch $M right in the face!  Yuck, the BLOOD!
$n punches weakly at $N, missing by miles.
$n tries a punch at you but misses by a good quarter-mile...
Punch who?
You punch yourself in the face resulting in your own nose being bloodied.
$n punches $mself in the face, looking kind of stupid.

purr 0 0
MMMMEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW.
$n purrs contentedly.
#

roll 1 0 
You roll your eyes in disgust.
$n rolls $s eyes in disgust.
You look at $M and roll your eyes in disgust.
$n looks at $N in contempt and rolls $s eyes with disgust.
$n stares at you and rolls $s eyes in digust.
Um... who?
You roll your eyes, disgusted with your own incompetence.
$n rolls $s eyes, disgusted with $mself.

ruffle 0 0
You've got to ruffle SOMEONE.
#
You ruffle $N's hair playfully.
$n ruffles $N's hair playfully.
$n ruffles your hair playfully.
Might be a bit difficult.
You ruffle your hair, wondering how far you can go before the rest think you're crazy.
$n ruffles $s hair -- weirdo!

scream 0 0
ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
$n screams loudly!
#

shake 0 5
You shake your head.
$n shakes $s head.
You shake $S hand.
$n shakes $N's hand.
$n shakes your hand.
Sorry good buddy, but that person doesn't seem to be here.
You are shaken by yourself.
$n shakes and quivers like a bowlful of jelly.

shiver 0 0
Brrrrrrrrr.
$n shivers uncomfortably.
#

shrug 0 0
You shrug.
$n shrugs helplessly.
#

sigh 0 0
You sigh.
$n sighs loudly.
#

sing 0 0
You raise your clear (?) voice towards the sky.
SEEK SHELTER AT ONCE!  $n has begun to sing.
#

slap 0 0
Normally you slap SOMEBODY.
#
You slap $N.
$n slaps $N.
You are slapped by $n.
How about slapping someone in the same room as you??
You slap yourself, silly you.
$n slaps $mself, really strange...

smile 1 0
You smile happily.
$n smiles happily.
You smile at $M.
$n beams a smile at $N.
$n smiles at you.
There's no one by that name around.
You smile at yourself.
$n smiles at $mself.

smirk 0 0
You smirk.
$n smirks.
#

snap 0 0
PRONTO!  You snap your fingers.
$n snaps $s fingers.
#

snarl 0 0
You snarl like a viscious animal.
$n snarls like a cornered, viscious animal.
You snarl at $M angrily.  Control yourself!
$n snarls angrily at $N.  $e$u seems incapable of controlling $mself.
$n snarls viciously at you.  $U$s self-control seems to have gone bananas.
Eh?  Who?  Not here, my friend.
You snarl at yourself, obviously suffering from schizophrenia.
$n snarls at $mself, and suddenly looks very frightened.

sneeze 0 0
Gesundheit!
$n sneezes.
#

snicker 0 0
You snicker softly.
$n snickers softly.
#

sniff 0 0
You sniff sadly.  *SNIFF*
$n sniffs sadly.
#

snore 0 0
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
$n snores loudly.
#

snowball 0 0
Who do you want to throw a snowball at??
#
You throw a snowball in $N's face.
$n conjures a snowball from thin air and throws it at $N.
$n conjures a snowball from thin air and throws it at you.
You stand with the snowball in your hand because your victim is not here.
You conjure a snowball from thin air and throw it at yourself.
$n conjures a snowball out of the thin air and throws it at $mself.

snuggle 1 5
Who?
#
you snuggle $M.
$n snuggles up to $N.
$n snuggles up to you.
They aren't here.
Hmmm...
#

spank 0 8
You spank WHO?  Eh?  How?  Naaah, you'd never.
$n spanks the thin air with a flat hand.
You spank $M vigorously, long and hard.  Your hand hurts.
$n spanks $N over $s knee.  It hurts to even watch.
$n spanks you long and hard.  You feel like a naughty child.
Are you sure about this?  I mean, that person isn't even here!
Hmm, not likely.
#

spit 0 0
You spit over your left shoulder.
$n spits over $s left shoulder.
You spit on $M.
$n spits in $N's face.
$n spits in your face.
Can you spit that far?
You drool down your front.
$n drools down $s front.

squeeze 0 0
Where, what, how, WHO???
#
You squeeze $M fondly.
$n squeezes $N fondly.
$n squeezes you fondly.
Where, what, how, WHO???
You squeeze yourself -- try to relax a little!
$n squeezes $mself.

stare 0 5
You stare at the sky.
$n stares at the sky.
You stare dreamily at $N, completely lost in $S eyes..
$n stares dreamily at $N.
$n stares dreamily at you, completely lost in your eyes.
You stare and stare but can't see that person anywhere...
You stare dreamily at yourself - enough narcissism for now.
$n stares dreamily at $mself - NARCISSIST!

steam 0 0 
You let out some steam, much to the others' relief (and your own!)
$n lets out a lot of steam, much to your relief.
#

stroke 0 0
Whose thigh would you like to stroke?
#
You gently stroke $S inner thigh.
$n gently strokes $N's inner thigh... hmm...
$n gently strokes your inner thigh with feathery touches.
That person is not within reach.
You are about to do something you would rather not be caught doing.
$n starts to do something disgusting and then stops.

strut 0 0
Strut your stuff.
$n struts proudly.
#

sulk 1 0
You sulk.
$n sulks in the corner.
#

tackle 0 5
You tackle the air.  It stands not a chance.
$n starts running around $mself in a desparate attempt to tackle the air.
You ruthlessly tackle $M to the ground.
$n ruthlessly tackles $N, pinning $M to the ground.
$n suddenly lunges at you and tackles you to the ground!
That person isn't here (luck for them, it would seem...)
Tackle yourself?  Yeah, right....
$n makes a dextrous move and kicks $s left leg away with $s right.

tango 0 8
With whom would you like to tango?
$n puts a rose between $s teeth, but takes out it since noone joins $m.
You put a rose between your teeth and tango with $M seductively.
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tangos with $N seductively.
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tangos with you seductively.
That person isn't around.  Better sit this one out.
Feels rather stupid, doesn't it?
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tries to tango with $mself.

taunt 0 0
You taunt the nothing in front of you. 
$n taunts something that seems to be right in front of $m.
You taunt $M, to your own delight.
$n taunts $N rather insultingly.  $U$n seems to enjoy it tremendously.
$n taunts you.  It really hurts your feelings.
Hmmmmmmm.....nope, no one by that name here.
You taunt yourself, almost making you cry...:(
$n taunts $mself to tears.

thank 0 5
Thank you too.
#
You thank $N heartily.
$n thanks $N heartily.
$n thanks you heartily.
No one answers to that name here.
You thank yourself since nobody else wants to!
$n thanks $mself since you won't.

think 1 0
You think about life, the universe and everything.
$n sinks deeply into thought about the meaning of life.
You think about what purpose $E has in relation to your part of life.
$n stops and thinks about $N, completely lost in thought.
Your ears burn as $n thinks about you.. you wonder what about.
You'd better think harder, if you hope to make contact!
You think about yourself (for once).
$n thinks about $mself for a change.....(?)

tickle 0 0
Who do you want to tickle??
#
You tickle $N.
$n tickles $N.
$n tickles you - hee hee hee.
Who is that??
You tickle yourself, how funny!
$n tickles $mself.

twiddle 0 0
You patiently twiddle your thumbs.
$n patiently twiddles $s thumbs.
#

wave 0 0
You wave.
$n waves happily.
You wave goodbye to $N.
$n waves goodbye to $N.
$n waves goodbye to you.  Have a good journey.
They didn't wait for you to wave goodbye.
Are you going on adventures as well??
$n waves goodbye to $mself.

whine 0 0
You whine pitifully.
$n whines pitifully about the whole situation.
#

whistle 0 0
You whistle appreciatively.
$n whistles appreciatively.
#

wiggle 0 0
Your wiggle your bottom.
$n wiggles $s bottom.
#

wink 0 5
Have you got something in your eye?
$n winks suggestively.
You wink suggestively at $N.
$n winks at $N.
$n winks suggestively at you.
No one with that name is present.
You wink at yourself?? -- what are you up to?
$n winks at $mself -- something strange is going on...

worship 0 5
You find yourself head-down in the dirt, worshipping.
$n starts worshipping nothing at all.
You fall to your knees and worship $M deeply.
$n falls to $s knees, worshipping $N with uncanny dedication.
$n kneels before you in solemn worship.
Uh.. who?  They're not here, pal.
You seem sure to have found a true deity.....
$n falls to $s knees and humbly worships $mself.

yawn 0 0
Gosh, will you trade those teeth for mine?? -- you get my glasseyes in the bargain too!
$n yawns.
#

yodel 0 0
You start yodelling loudly and rather beautifully in your own ears.
$n starts a yodelling session that goes right to the bone.
#

$