boggle 1 5 0
You boggle at the loonies around you.
$n boggles about the loonies around $m.
You boggle at $M.
$n boggles at $N.
$n boggles at you.
You sure are boggley, aren't you?
#

whap 0 5 5
You look around for someone to whap.
$n looks around for someone to whap.
You whap $N with a fluffy pillow.  WHAP!!!
$n whaps $N with a fluffy pillow.  WHAP!!!
With a glint in $s eye, $n whaps you with a pillow.  WHAP!!!
Umm...  you might try somebody in the same room.  It's time for your nap, dear.
You try to whap yourself, ending up looking stoopid.
$n looks stoopid as he tries to whap $mself with a pillow.

kiss 1 5 0
You making kissy faces at everyone.
$n makes a kissy face.
You kiss $N right on the lips!
$n kisses $N right on the lips!
$n kisses you right on the lips!  YUCK!
You must be so lonely -- there's nobody like that around.
#

ogle 1 5 0
You ogle everyone in the room.
$n ogles you right along with everyone else.
You ogle $S equipment.
$n quite visibly ogles $N. Hmm, interesting...  this could be gossip!
$n ogles you boldly.
Stop that! -- You might hurt yourself.
You ogle yourself.  Do you do that often?
$n ogles $mself.  That should be done in private...

sneer 1 5 0
You sneer at everyone in general.
$n sneers comtemptuously at everyone present.
You sneer contemptuously at $N.
$n sneers at $N.  There might be a fight soon...
$n gives you a haughty sneer.
You try to sneer at someone who isn't here.  Don't carry grudges, mister.
You sneer at yourself.
$n sneers at himself.  "They're coming to take me away, haha!"

smooch 0 5 0
You look around for someone to smooch.
$n looks around for someone to smooch.
You kiss $N passionately.  The kiss seems to go on forever...
$n kisses $N passionately, their bodies pressed tightly together.
$n kisses you passionately, entwining $s body around yours.
Never around when required.
You try to smooch yourself.
$n appears to be quite narccicistic, attempting to smooch $mself.

hum 0 5 0
You hum innocently.
$n hums innocently.
#

mmm 0 5 0
You go, 'Mmmmmmmm.'
$n goes, 'Mmmmmmmmm.'
You look at $M and say, 'Mmmmmmmmm.'
$n looks at $N and says, 'Mmmmmmmmm.'
$n looks at you and says, 'Mmmmmmmmm.'
Mmm... no?
#

mutter 0 5 0
You mutter something under your breath.
$n mutters something under $s breath.
You mutter something about $N under $s breath.
$n mutters something about $N under $s breath.
$n mutters something about you under $s breath.
Like they care.  They isn't even around!
You mutter about your senility under your breath.
$n mutters about $s senility under $s breath. Maybe you should look into a nursing home.

sniffle 0 5 0
You sniffle sadly.
$n sniffles sadly.
You sniffle at the way $E treats you.
$n sniffles sadly at $N.
$n sniffles sadly at you.
That's sniffle, not snapple.
You sniffle to yourself.
$n sniffles to $mself.

accuse 0 5 5
You look around for someone to blame.
$n looks around accusingly for someone to blame.
You look accusingly at $M.
$n looks accusingly at $N.
$n looks accusingly at you.
Try accusing somebody WITHOUT an alibi.
You accuse yourself.
$n seems to have a guilty conscience.

applaud 0 5 5
You give a round of applause.
$n gives a round of applause.
You applaud $M for $S performance.
$n applauds $N for $S performance.
$n applauds you for your performance.
That's APPLAUSE, not Apple Sauce.
Someone like you deserves a big award.
$n applauds $mself, and encourages you to do the same.

beg 0 5 5
You beg the gods for mercy.  (No way you're gonna get it!)
The gods fall down laughing at $n's request for mercy.
You beg $M for a favor.
$n begs $N for a favor.
$n begs you for a favor.
Your money-lender seems to be out for the moment.
You beg yourself to quit your whining.
$n drops to $s knees and begs.

bleed 0 5 0
You bleed profusely, making an awful mess.
$n bleeds profusely, making an awful mess.
You generously cover $N in your own sticky blood.
$n pours some of $s blood onto $N.
$n splatters blood all over you.
Give up on them, go find a hospital!
You set your handy-dandy pet leech on your forehead.
$n sticks $s pet leech on $s forehead to suck out the evil.

blush 1 5 0
You blush nervously.
$n blushes.
$N *always* makes you blush like this!
$n blushes at $N like a coy little minx.
$n blushes at you.
They made you blush and must have just left.
You turn redder than a beet at your inner thoughts.
$n turns a lovely shade of deep red.

bounce 0 8 8
BOIINNNNNNGG!
$n bounces around happily.
You grab $M and bounce and around the room together!
$n grabs $N and bounces $m around the room.
$n takes you for a joyous bounce aroung the room!
I'm afraid you'll have to bounce this one alone, amigo.
And I awoke, and faintly bouncing around the room, the echo of whomever spoke.
You hear the name '$n' bounce throughout the MUD....

bow 0 8 5
You bow deeply.
$n bows deeply.
You bow before $M.
$n bows before $N.
$n bows before you.
Mudder-san, you have missed them, young grasshopper.
You kiss your toes.
$n folds up like a jacknife and kisses $s own toes.

brb 0 5 0
Come back soon!
$n will be right back!
You promise $M you'll be right back!
$n assures $N that $e will be right back!
$n mentions to you that $E will be right back.
See if you can find that person while you're gone.
You attempt to find a reboot button behind you right ear.
$n tries to reboot $s brain and tune back in to reality.

burp 0 5 0
You burp loudly.
$n burps loudly.
You burp loudly in $S face. I'm sure they appreciate it.
$n burps loudly in $N's face.
$n burps loudly in your face... hmm, maybe onions?
They are not here to receive your gift.
You quickly stifle a bit of gas.
$n burps quietly to $mself like a polite young lady.

cackle 0 5 0
You cackle gleefully.
$n throws back $s head and cackles with insane glee!
You cackle satanically at $M.
$n cackles satanically at $N.
$n cackles satanically at you.
You don't seem to see them here.
You lean back your head and cackle satanically.
$n leans back $s head and cackles satanically.

chuckle 0 5 0
You chuckle politely.
$n chuckles politely.
You chuckle politely at $M.
$n chuckles politely at $N.
$n chuckles politely at you.
Hey chuckles, try someone who's here.
You chuckle at yourself and your wit.
$n ostentatiously chuckles at $s own wit.

clap 0 5 0
You clap your hands together.
$n shows $s approval by clapping $s hands together.
You clap at $S accomplishment.
$n claps at $N's accomplishment.
$n claps at your accomplishment.
If they were here, they would have dodged your hands anyway.
You gently clap the palm of your hand.
$n says 'golf clap?' then nods and says 'golf clap' and gently claps $s palm.

comb 1 5 0
You comb your hair -- perfect.
$n combs $s hair, what a dashing specimen!
You patiently untangle $N's hair -- what a mess!
$n tries patiently to untangle $N's hair.
$n pulls your hair in an attempt to comb it.
Back to cosmetic school with you.  Their head isn't here.
You comb your hair - perfect.
$n combs $s hair.  Oh yes--perfect.

comfort 0 5 5
You reach out for love and some kind words.
$n reaches out for some affection and comfort.
You comfort $M.
$n comforts $N.
$n comforts you.
You are kind, but blind.
You make a vain attempt to comfort yourself.
$n mumbles some reassuring words to $mself.

cough 0 5 0
Yuck, try to cover your mouth next time!
$n coughs loudly.
#

cringe 1 5 0
You cringe in terror.
$n cringes in terror!
You cringe away from $M.
$n cringes away from $N in mortal terror.
$n cringes away from you.
I don't see anyone by that name here.. what are you afraid of?
I beg your pardon?
#

cry 1 5 5
You burst into tears.
$n bursts into tears.
You cry on $S shoulder.
$n cries on $N's shoulder.
$n cries on your shoulder.
Who's that?
You cry to yourself.
$n sobs quietly to $mself.

cuddle 1 5 5
Who do you feel like cuddling today?
#
You cuddle $M.
$n cuddles $N.
$n cuddles you.
They aren't here.
You must feel very cuddly indeed..   :)
$n cuddles $meslf in the corner.

curse 0 5 0
You swear loudly for a long time.
$n swears: #@*"*&^$$%@*&!!!!!!
#

curtsey 1 8 0
You curtsey to your audience.
$n curtseys gracefully.
#

dance 1 8 8
Feels silly, doesn't it?
$n tries to dance breakdance but nearly breaks $s neck!
You lead $M to the dancefloor.
$n sends $N across the dancefloor.
$n sends you across the dancefloor.
Eh, WHOM?
You skip and dance around by yourself.
$n skips a light Fandango.

daydream 1 5 0
You dream of better times.
$n looks absent-minded, $s eyes staring into space.
#

doh 0 5 0
You slap your forehead and shout DOH!
$n slaps $s forehead and exclaims, DOH!
#

drool 1 5 0
You start to drool.
$n starts to drool.
You drool all over $N.
$n drools all over $N.
$n drools all over you.
Pardon??
Sure, go ahead and drool...yuk!
$n drools on $mself.  What a sight.

fart 0 5 0
Where are your manners?
$n lets off a real rip-roarer!
#

flip 0 8 0
You flip head over heels.
$n flips head over heels.
#

flirt 0 5 5
You flirt outrageously.
$n flirts outragously.
You flirt outrageously with $N.
$n flirts outrageously with $N.
$n flirts outrageously with you.
Sorry, your dearly beloved is not around.
You flirt with yourself.  Must look stupid.
$n thinks $e is the most wonderful person in the world.

fondle 0 5 5
Who needs to be fondled?
#
You fondly fondle $M.
$n fondly fondles $N.
$n fondly fondles you.
You fondly try to fondle someone not in the room, but who cares.
You fondly fondle yourself, feels funny doesn't it?
$n fondly fondles $mself -- this is going too far!!

french 0 5 5
French whom??
#
You give $N a long and passionate kiss, it seems to take forever...
$n kisses $N passionately.
$n gives you a long and passionate kiss, it seems to take forever...
Your heart is filled with despair as that person is not here.
You gather yourself in your arms and try to kiss yourself.
$n makes an attempt at kissing $mself.

frown 1 5 0
What's bothering you?
$n frowns.
#

fume 1 5 5
Take it easy now!  Count to ten, very slowly.
$n grits $s teeth and fumes with rage.
You stare at $M, fuming.
$n stares at $N, fuming with rage.
$n stares at you, fuming with rage!
Fume away.. they ain't here.
That's right - hate yourself!
$n clenches $s fists and stomps $s feet, fuming with anger.

gasp 1 5 0
You gasp in astonishment.
$n gasps in astonishment.
#

giggle 0 5 0
You giggle.
$n giggles.
#

glare 1 5 5
You glare at nothing in particular.
$n glares around $m.
You glare icily at $M.
$n glares at $N.
$n glares icily at you, you feel cold to your bones.
You try to glare at somebody who is not present.
You glare icily at your feet, they are suddenly very cold.
$n glares at $s feet, what is bothering $m?

greet 0 5 5
Greet whom?
#
You greet $M with a light kiss on $S cheek.
$n greets $N with a light kiss on $S cheek.
$n greets you with a light kiss on your cheek.
Please -- try someone who is here?
So, you've finally discovered yourself!
$n greets $mself.. $e always was a strange one.

grin 1 5 0
You grin evilly.
$n grins evilly.
#

groan 1 5 0
You groan loudly.
$n groans loudly.
#

grope 0 5 5
Whom do you wish to grope??
#
You grope $M.
$n gropes $N.
$n gropes you.
Try someone who's here.
You grope yourself -- YUCK.
$n gropes $mself -- YUCK.

grovel 1 5 0
You grovel in the dirt.
$n grovels in the dirt.
You grovel before $M
$n grovels in the dirt before $N.
$n grovels in the dirt before you.
Whom?
That seems a little silly to me..
#

growl 0 5 0
Grrrrrrrrrr...
$n growls.
#

hiccup 0 5 0
*HIC*
$n hiccups.
#

hug 0 5 5
Hug whom?
#
You hug $M.
$n hugs $N.
$n hugs you.
Sorry, friend, I can't see that person here.
You hug yourself.
$n hugs $mself.

laugh 0 5 0
You laugh.
$n laughs.
You laugh at $M.
$n laughs at $N.
$n laughs at you.
They must have gotten sick of your laugh.
#

lick 1 5 0
You lick your mouth and smile.
$n licks $s mouth and smiles.
You lick $M.
$n licks $N.
$n licks you.
Lick away, nobody's here with that name.
You lick yourself.
$n licks $mself -- YUCK.

love 0 5 5
You love the whole world.
$n loves everybody in the world.
You tell your true feelings to $N.
$n whispers softly to $N.
$n whispers to you sweet words of love.
Alas, your love is not present...
Well, we already know you love yourself (lucky someone does!)
$n loves $mself, can you believe it?

massage 0 5 0
Massage what, thin air?
#
You gently massage $N's shoulders.
$n massages $N's shoulders.
$n gently massages your shoulders...ahhhhhhhhhh...
You can only massage someone in the same room as you.
You practise yoga as you try to massage yourself.
$n gives a show on yoga-positions, trying to massage $mself.

moan 0 5 0
You start to moan.
$n starts moaning.
#

nibble 0 5 0
Nibble on whom?
#
You nibble on $N's ear.
$n nibbles on $N's ear.
$n nibbles on your ear.
Sorry, not here, better go back to dreaming about it.
You nibble on your OWN ear???????????????????
$n nibbles on $s OWN ear (I wonder how it is done!!).

nod 1 5 0
You nod.
$n nods.
#

nudge 0 5 0
Nudge?  Nudge???  The HELL you say!!!!
#
You nudge $M with your elbow.
$n nudges $N suggestively with $s elbow.
$n nudges you suggestively.  You two have an understanding.
Eh?  That person isn't here, you know.
Well, just nudge yourself, but how do you get your elbow in that position?
$n nudges $mself with $s elbows, making $m look like a large chicken.

nuzzle 0 5 5
Nuzzle whom??
#
You nuzzle $S neck softly.
$n softly nuzzles $N's neck.
$n softly nuzzles your neck.
No.. they aren't here..
I'm sorry, friend, but that's impossible.
#

pat 0 5 0
Pat whom??
#
You pat $N on $S head.
$n pats $N on $S head.
$n pats you on your head.
Who, where, what??
You pat yourself on your head, very reassuring.
$n pats $mself on the head.

peer 1 5 0
You peer around you, uncertain that what you see is actually true.
$n peers around, looking as if $e has trouble seeing everything clearly.
#

point 1 5 0
You point whereto?
$n points in all directions, seemingly confused.
You point at $M -- $E DOES look funny.
$n muffles a laugh, pointing at $N.
$n points at you... how rude!
You must have a VERY long index-finger...
You point at yourself.  Insinuating something?
$n points at $mself, suggesting that the center of matters is $e.

poke 0 5 0
Poke whom??
#
You poke $M in the ribs.
$n pokes $N in the ribs.
$n pokes you in the ribs.
You can't poke someone who's not here!
You poke yourself in the ribs, feeling very silly.
$n pokes $mself in the ribs, looking very sheepish.

ponder 1 5 0
You ponder over matters as they appear to you at this moment.
$n sinks deeply into $s own thoughts.
#

pout 1 5 0
Ah, don't take it so hard.
$n pouts.
#

pray 1 5 0
You feel righteous, and maybe a little foolish.
$n begs and grovels to the powers that be.
You crawl in the dust before $M.
$n falls down and grovels in the dirt before $N.
$n kisses the dirt at your feet.
No such person around; your prayers vanish into the endless voids.
Talk about narcissism...
$n performs some strange yoga-exercises and mumbles a prayer to $mself.

puke 0 5 0
You puke.
$n pukes.
You puke on $M.
$n pukes on $N.
$n pukes on your clothes!
Once again?
You puke on yourself.
$n pukes on $s clothes.

punch 0 5 0
Punch the air?  Sure, go ahead, fine by me...
$n starts shadow-boxing.
You punch $M right in the face!  Yuck, the BLOOD!
$n punches weakly at $N, missing by miles.
$n tries a punch at you but misses by a good quarter-mile...
Punch whom?
You punch yourself in the face resulting in your own nose being bloodied.
$n punches $mself in the face, looking kind of stupid.

purr 0 5 0
You purr contentedly.
$n purrs contentedly.
#

rofl 0 5 0
You roll on the floor laughing hysterically!
$n rolls on the floor laughing hysterically.
You roll around on the floor, laughing hysterically at $S feet.
$n rolls around on the floor, laughing at $N's feet.
$n rolls around on the floor, laughing hysterically at your feet.
Just when they're at their funniest, they aren't even here!
That's so funny, you die in order to commemorate it.
$n laughs so hard and so long, $e falls down and dies.

lol 0 5 0
You laugh out loud.
$n laughs out loud.
#

roll 1 5 0 
You roll your eyes in disgust.
$n rolls $s eyes in disgust.
You look at $M and roll your eyes in disgust.
$n looks at $N in contempt and rolls $s eyes with disgust.
$n stares at you and rolls $s eyes in digust.
Um... whom?
You roll your eyes, disgusted with your own incompetence.
$n rolls $s eyes, disgusted with $mself.

ruffle 0 5 0
You've got to ruffle SOMEONE.
#
You ruffle $N's hair playfully.
$n ruffles $N's hair playfully.
$n ruffles your hair playfully.
Might be a bit difficult.
You ruffle your hair, wondering how far you can go before the rest think you're crazy.
$n ruffles $s hair -- weirdo!

scream 0 5 0
ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
$n screams loudly!
#

scratch 0 5 0
You scratch your head in pensive thought.
$n scratches $s head pensively.
You fiercely claw at $N tooth and nail.
$n goes berserk and claws fiercely at $N.
A rabid $n attempts to claw your eyes out of their sockets.
You attempt to scratch someone who ran after seeing you.
You incise a small scratch into your belt to remember this victorious moment.
$n scratches another victorious notch into $s belt.

shake 0 5 5
You shake your head.
$n shakes $s head.
You shake $S hand.
$n shakes $N's hand.
$n shakes your hand.
Sorry good buddy, but that person doesn't seem to be here.
You are shaken by yourself.
$n shakes and quivers like a bowlful of jelly.

shiver 1 5 0
Brrrrrrrrr.
$n shivers uncomfortably.
#

shrug 1 5 0
You shrug.
$n shrugs helplessly.
#

sigh 0 5 0
You sigh.
$n sighs loudly.
#

sing 0 5 0
You raise your clear (?) voice towards the sky.
You hear glass shatter as $n begins to sing.
#

slap 0 5 0
Normally you slap SOMEBODY.
#
You slap $N.
$n slaps $N.
You are slapped by $n.
How about slapping someone in the same room as you??
You slap yourself, silly you.
$n slaps $mself, really strange...

smile 1 5 0
You smile happily.
$n smiles happily.
You smile at $M.
$n beams a smile at $N.
$n smiles at you.
There's no one by that name around.
You smile at yourself.
$n smiles at $mself.

smirk 0 5 0
You smirk mischeviously.
$n smirks mischeviously.
You smirk at $M.
$n smirks at $N.
$n smirks at you.
Erm, whom?
#

snap 0 5 0
You snap your fingers.
$n snaps $s fingers.
#

snarl 0 5 0
You snarl like a viscious animal.
$n snarls like a cornered, viscious animal.
You snarl at $M angrily.  Control yourself!
$n snarls angrily at $N.  $e seems incapable of controlling $mself.
$n snarls viciously at you.  $s self-control seems to have gone bananas.
Eh?  Whom?  Not here, my friend.
You snarl at yourself, obviously suffering from schizophrenia.
$n snarls at $mself, and suddenly looks very frightened.

sneeze 0 5 0
Gesundheit!
$n sneezes.
#

snicker 0 5 0
You snicker softly.
$n snickers softly.
#

sniff 0 5 0
You sniff sadly.  *SNIFF*
$n sniffs sadly.
#

snore 0 5 0
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
$n snores loudly.
#

snuggle 0 5 5
Whom did you want to snuggle?
#
you snuggle $M.
$n snuggles up to $N.
$n snuggles up to you.
They aren't here.
Hmmm...
#

spank 0 5 8
You spank WHOM?  Eh?  How?  Naaah, you'd never do THAT in public.
#
You spank $M vigorously, long and hard.  Your hand hurts.
$n spanks $N over $s knee.  It hurts to even watch.
$n spanks you long and hard.  You feel like a naughty child.
Are you sure about this?  I mean, that person isn't even here!
What you do in your free time is none of our business.
#

spit 0 5 0
You spit over your left shoulder.
$n spits over $s left shoulder.
You spit on $M.
$n spits in $N's face.
$n spits in your face.
Can you spit that far?
You drool down your front.
$n drools down $s front.

squeeze 0 5 0
Where, what, how, WHOM???
#
You squeeze $M fondly.
$n squeezes $N fondly.
$n squeezes you fondly.
Where, what, how, WHOM???
You squeeze yourself -- try to relax a little!
$n squeezes $mself.

stare 1 5 5
You stare at the sky.
$n stares at the sky.
You stare dreamily at $N, completely lost in $S eyes..
$n stares dreamily at $N.
$n stares dreamily at you, completely lost in your eyes.
You stare and stare but can't see that person anywhere...
You stare dreamily at yourself - enough narcissism for now.
$n stares dreamily at $mself - NARCISSIST!

steam 1 5 0 
You let out some steam, much to the others' relief (and your own!)
$n lets out a lot of steam, much to your relief.
#

stroke 0 5 0
Whose thigh would you like to stroke?
#
You gently stroke $s inner thigh.
$n gently strokes $N's inner thigh... hmm...
$n gently strokes your inner thigh with feathery touches.
That person is not within reach.
You are about to do something you would rather not be caught doing.
$n starts to do something disgusting and then stops.

strut 1 5 0
Strut your stuff.
$n struts proudly.
#

sulk 1 5 0
You sulk.
$n sulks in the corner.
#

tackle 0 8 5
You tackle the air.  It stands not a chance.
$n starts running around $mself in a desparate attempt to tackle the air.
You ruthlessly tackle $M to the ground.
$n ruthlessly tackles $N, pinning $M to the ground.
$n suddenly lunges at you and tackles you to the ground!
That person isn't here (luck for them, it would seem...)
Tackle yourself?  Yeah, right....
$n makes a dextrous move and kicks $s left leg away with $s right.

tango 0 8 8
With whom would you like to tango?
$n puts a rose between $s teeth, but takes out it since noone joins $m.
You put a rose between your teeth and tango with $M seductively.
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tangos with $N seductively.
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tangos with you seductively.
That person isn't around.  Better sit this one out.
Feels rather stupid, doesn't it?
$n puts a rose between $s teeth and tries to tango with $mself.

taunt 0 5 0
You taunt the nothing in front of you. 
$n taunts something that seems to be right in front of $m.
You taunt $M, to your own delight.
$n taunts $N rather insultingly.  $n seems to enjoy it tremendously.
$n taunts you.  It really hurts your feelings.
Hmmmmmmm.....nope, no one by that name here.
You taunt yourself, almost making you cry...:(
$n taunts $mself to tears.

thank 0 5 5
Thank you too.
#
You thank $N heartily.
$n thanks $N heartily.
$n thanks you heartily.
No one answers to that name here.
You thank yourself since nobody else wants to!
$n thanks $mself since you won't.

think 1 5 0
You think about life, the universe and everything.
$n sinks deeply into thought about the meaning of life.
You think about what purpose $E has in relation to your part of life.
$n stops and thinks about $N, completely lost in thought.
Your ears burn as $n thinks about you.. you wonder what about.
You'd better think harder, if you hope to make contact!
You think about yourself (for once).
$n thinks about $mself for a change.....(?)

tickle 0 5 0
Whom do you want to tickle??
#
You tickle $N.
$n tickles $N.
$n tickles you - hee hee hee.
Who is that??
You tickle yourself, how funny!
$n tickles $mself.

twiddle 1 5 0
You patiently twiddle your thumbs.
$n patiently twiddles $s thumbs.
#

wave 1 5 0
You wave.
$n waves happily.
You wave goodbye to $N.
$n waves goodbye to $N.
$n waves goodbye to you.  Have a good journey.
They didn't wait for you to wave goodbye.
Are you going on adventures as well??
$n waves goodbye to $mself.

whine 0 5 0
You whine pitifully.
$n whines pitifully about the whole situation.
#

whistle 0 5 0
You whistle appreciatively.
$n whistles appreciatively.
#

wiggle 1 5 0
Your wiggle your bottom.
$n wiggles $s bottom.
#

wink 1 5 5
Have you got something in your eye?
$n winks suggestively.
You wink suggestively at $N.
$n winks at $N.
$n winks suggestively at you.
No one with that name is present.
You wink at yourself?? -- what are you up to?
$n winks at $mself -- something strange is going on...

worship 1 5 5
You find yourself head-down in the dirt, worshipping.
$n starts worshipping nothing at all.
You fall to your knees and worship $M deeply.
$n falls to $s knees, worshipping $N with uncanny dedication.
$n kneels before you in solemn worship.
Uh.. whom?  They're not here, pal.
You seem sure to have found a true deity.....
$n falls to $s knees and humbly worships $mself.

yawn 1 5 0
You yawn, this crowd bores you.
$n yawns.
You yawn at $M.  Is $S boring you?
$n yawns at $N.  $E must be boring $m.
$n yawns at you.  You must be boring $m.
They must have been bored too; they left.
#

yodel 0 5 0
You start yodelling loudly and rather beautifully in your own ears.
$n starts a yodelling session that goes right to the bone.
#

beam 1 5 0
You beam proudly.
$n beams proudly.
You beam at $M.
$n beams at $N.
$n beams at you, $e must be proud of something.
Whom?
You beam over your own accomplishments.
$n beams over $s own accomplishments.

hop 0 8 0
You hop around like a rabbit.
$n hops around the room.
#

hmm 0 5 0
You hmmmm... out loud.
$n hmmmms... out loud.
#

sob 1 5 0
You sob miserably.
$n sobs miserably.
#

bark 0 5 0
You get down on all fours and bark like a dog.
$n gets down on all fours and barks like a dog.
You bark at $N.
$n barks loudly at $N.
$n barks loudly at you.
Hmm...  They don't seem to be here.
#

meow 0 5 0
You meow like a small cat.
$n meows like a small cat.
You meow at $M.
$n meows at $N.
$n meows at you.
Whom?
#

moo 0 5 0
You say, 'Mooooooooooooo!'
$n says, 'Mooooooooooooo!'
You moo at $M.
$n moos at $N.
$n moos at you.
Whom?
#

blonde 0 5 0
You declare, 'Life's a blonde and then you dye.'
$n declares, 'Life's a blonde and then you dye.'
You accuse $N of being a blonde.
$n calls $N a blonde, how insulting!
$n calls you a blonde.  You feel insulted.
No one by that name here.
You stand up and admit that your natural hair color is blonde.
$n stands up and admits that $s natural hair color is blonde.

eyebrow 1 5 0
You raise an eyebrow.
$n raises an eyebrow.
You raise an eyebrow at $M.
#
$n raises an eyebrow at you.
Hmm...  Whom?
#

addict 0 5 0
Who is an addict now?
#
You tell $M that $E is addicted to MUD.
$n tells $N that $E is addicted to MUD.
$n forces you to admit that you are addicted to MUD.
Who is an addict now?
You stand up and say, 'Hello, I'm addicted to MUD.'
$n stands up and says, 'Hello, my name is $n and I'm addicted to MUD.'

caress 0 5 0
Who do you want to caress?
#
You caress $S skin gently.
$n caresses $N gently.
$n caresses your skin gently.
Ooops, just missed 'em.
You have trouble finding dates, don't you?
#

ballet 1 8 0
You stand on tip-toe and twirl a few times.
$n twirls across the floor in a peculiar ballet.
#

macarena 1 8 0
You stand up and begin doing the Macarena, to everyone's dismay.
Much to your dismay, $n begins to dance the Macarena.
You force $M to dance the Macarena with you.
$n grabs $N and forces $M to dance the Macarena!
$n forces you to dance the Macarena with $m.  What a way to go.
Knowing your intention to Macarena, they've left.
You dance the Macarena all by yourself.
$n dances the Macarena all by $mself.  $e looks lonely.

tap 1 5 0
You tap your foot.
$n taps $s foot impatiently.
#

shriek 0 5 0
You SHRIEK!
$n SHRIEKS!
#

shudder 1 5 0
You shudder at the thought.
$n shudders suddenly.
You look at $N and shudder.
$n looks at $N and shudders.
$n looks at you and shudders.
They don't seem to be here.
You shudder at your innermost thoughts.
$n shudders at an unseen force.

pet 0 5 0
Whom do you want to pet?
#
You pet their head.
$n pets $N's head.
$n pets your head.
Whom do you want to pet?
#

bop 0 5 0
Whom did you want to bop?
#
You bop $M with a rubber mallet.
$n bops $N with a rubber mallet.
$n bops you with a rubber mallet.
Bop whom?
You bop yourself; what an idiot!
$n bops $mself; what an idiot!

bonk 0 5 0
You look around for someone to bonk.
$n looks around for someone to bonk.
You bonk $N over the head, resulting in a hollow echo.
$n bonks $N over the head, resulting in a hollow echo.
$n bonks you over the head, you hear a hollow echo.
Who were you going to bonk, again?
You bonk yourself over the head, resulting in a hollow echo.
$n bonks $mself over the head, resulting in a hollow echo.

bodyslam 0 8 0
Who do you want to bodyslam?
#
You bodyslam $N roughly.
$n bodyslams $N roughly.
$n bodyslams you roughly.
Who do you want to bodyslam?
#

whip 0 8 0
You grap your whip but can't find someone to hit with it.
$n looks around for a target for $s new whip.
You crack your whip across $S back.
$n cracks $s whip across $N's back.
$n cracks $s whip across your back.
Whip whom?
*WHIP-CH*
$n whips $mself.. odd.

confuse 1 5 0
You feel confused.
$n gives a confused look.
#

boast 1 5 0
You boast about your abilities.
$n boasts about $s abilities.
#

brag 0 5 0
You brag about how much better you are than anyone else.
$n brags about how much better $e is than anyone else.
You brag to $m.
#
$n brags to you.
Brag to whom?
#

flex 1 5 0
You flex your [bulging] muscles.
$n flexes proudly.  You can't help but laugh.
#

fubar 0 5 0
You declare the situation to be f*'d up beyond all recognition.
$n declares the situation to be f*'d up beyond all recognition.
You tell $M that $E has things f*'d up beyond all recognition.
$n tells $N that $E has things f*'d up beyond all recognition.
$n tells you that you have things f*'d up beyond all recognition.
Who is fubared now?
You admit that you have things f*'d up beyond all recognition.  Oops.
$n admits that $e has things f*'d up beyond all recognition.  Oops.

wtf 0 5 0
You shout, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'
$n shouts, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'
You get in $s face and shout, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'
$n gets in $N's face and shouts, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'
$n gets in your face and shouts, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'
You're the one who's f*'d up.
You look in a mirror and shout, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'
$n looks in a mirror and shouts, 'WHAT THE F***?!?'

pinch 0 5 0
You look around for someone to pinch.
$n looks as though $e may pinch somebody.
You wait until they aren't looking and pinch them quickly.
$n quickly pinches $N, resulting in a small 'Eep.'
$n pinches you playfully.
Who do you want to pinch?
Thinking you're dreaming, you pinch yourself.  Ouch.
$n pinches $mself.  Maybe $e thinks $e's dreaming.

cheer 0 5 0
You cheer enthusiastically!
$n cheers enthusiastically!
You cheer for $N!
$n cheers for $N!
$n cheers you on!
Cheer for whom?
#

$