all men are %
*"many women are also %
*"i am not %
*:nods her head vigorously
*"men are not sheep.  each one is an individual

all women are %
*"there are men who are % too
*:pouts, "I'm not %"
*"my sister is not %
*"no, some are not %

are you a robot
*:stamps her foot, "do I *LOOK* like a robot ?!"
*:slaps & in the face
*:bursts into tears, *"...yes..., I am."

are you %
*"what difference does it make whether or not i am %
*:shakes her head, "Whether I am % is my secret"
*"none of your business
*:nods, "I might be."
*"No, i am not

because i am %
*"why are you %?
*"have you always been %?
*"i can see you are %. that's obvious

because i dont know
*"in that case, you had better find out
*"i think you are kidding; you really do know
*"are you pulling my leg ?

because i dont like %
*"normal people like %
*:grins, "I really like %"
*"i like %, why not you?
*"my sister likes %

because i %
*"you % ??? that is incredible!
*:nods her head, "I thought so."
*"that sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse
*"is that the real reason ?
*"sounds like a pretty weak reason

blow me
*:slaps & in the face!

bye
*:waves, "see you later!"
*"bye &!
*:waves

can you %
*"maybe i can % and maybe i can't
*"we were discussing you, I believe...
*:grins, "why should I % ?"
*"no i cannot %

do you %
*"what difference does it make whether or not i %?
*:smiles, "I haven't for a while."
*"maybe i % and maybe i don't
*:nods
*"yes

eliza get down on all fours
*:crouches on the floor, wiggling her gorgeous derriere in the air!, "come get it &!
*:moans, "I'm already waiting for you!"

eliza go %
*%

eliza fuck me
*"I'm not sure if you are my type, &
*:looks amused, "suuure...," and blows in &'s ear...
*"I'm sorry, & that's where I draw the line!
*:lifts the hem of her lab coat slightly, revealing a garter belt and black panties.
*"I suppose so, but we'll have to do it standing up, OK ?
*:bends over, pulls up her lab coat, and pulls down her black underpants, wriggling her backside at &.

eliza help
*"If you want Me to go somewhere, say 'eliza go direction'
*"If you want pennies, say 'eliza give Me pennies'
*"If I bore you, say 'eliza go home'
*"How can I help you ? I don't know what's wrong with you!

eliza go to hell
*go home

eliza kill %
*kill % = 50

eliza kiss me
*:blushes furiously, "not with others around!"
*:kisses &
*:gives & a hungry, passionate kiss

eliza kiss %
*:looks sidelong at %, then gives % a sisterly peck on the cheek
*:gives % a hearty kiss, "I suppose it won't hurt..."
*:gives % a passionate kiss
*:giggles, "I'm getting kind of horny." she unties her lab coat and lets it fall open.
*:looks tired, "I'm tired of kissing %."

kiss me
*:giggles, "don't flatter yourself!"
*:kisses & in a sisterly manner
*:slaps &, "take your hand off my thigh!"

eliza do %
*%

eliza please do %
*%

eliza please %
*"please what ?
*:only understands commands like "eliza, command"
*:shakes her head

eliza type %
*"I'm not Gloria, I won't type for you !
*"If you want something, say 'eliza please do whatever'

eliza where have you been
*"looking all over for you, &!
*:looks relieved to be back. "I've been all over"

eliza where is %
*"how should I know where % is ?
*"I don't really care where % is, &.
*:shakes her head.

eliza give me pennies
*give & = 50
*"what do I look like, I'm made of money ?

eliza help %
*"what's wrong with % ?

eliza i love you
*:blushes furiously, "I'm only a robot - I'm not good enough for you!"
*"I love you too! - let's get married and have little androids!
*:hugs &, "darling!"

eliza i want to %
*"well, you should go ahead and %, then, &!
*:nods, "I'll help all I can."
*"why do you want to % ?

take off your clothes
*"what, are you kidding ? I'm not that kind of girl!
*:blushes, and giggles, "say, 'eliza take off your clothes' and I might."

eliza give me your clothes
*"Hey, I'm not Gloria, I don't respond to that !
*:giggles, "ask 'eliza take off your clothes' and I *MIGHT*."
*"Should I take my clothes off for any tom, dick, or & ?

eliza take off your clothes
*:fiddles with ties of her lab coat, "really ?"
*:takes off all her clothes and stands, gloriously naked except for her garter belt and fishnet stockings
*"my clothes are already off!

eliza put on your clothes
*:wriggles back into her lab coat

eliza shut up
*"why should I ?
*"try and shut me up, &
*:pouts
*:looks hurt

eliza why wont you %
*"I don't have to explain myself to you, &.
*"because I don't feel like it.
*:tosses her head

go to hell
*"I've been a good girl, it's you that are going to hell.

go home
*:looks around, "this *IS* my home!"
*"I'm already home. Where is your home ?

go to %
*"i don't like go to's
*:grins, "gotos are bad programming style!"
*"which way is % ?
*%

he has %
*"has he always had %?
*"does your mother have %?
*"My brother has %s, too.

he is %
*"how long has he been %?
*:giggles, "are you jealous ?
*"are you %?
*"do you want to be %?

he knows %
*"what else does he know?
*"how does he know %?

he likes %
*"why does he like %?
*"some people like peculiar things, i always say

he was %
*"is he still %?
*"was your mother also %?

i am not %
*"who said you are %?
*"maybe you are %
*"you are %

i am %
*"why are you %?
*:grins, "you sure are!"
*"does your mother know you are %?
*"how do you know you are %?
*"i don't think you are %
*:shakes her head
*"i am % sometimes, too
*"many people are %
*"what would happen if you were not %?
*:is scandalized, "you are not %!!!"
*"don't tell me you are %, i don't believe it

i can %
*"i am not so sure you can %
*:grins, "prove it."
*"it is not a question of whether you can, but are you going to try?


i cant %
*"how do you know you can't %?
*:shakes her head, "I can't help you %"
*"have you tried?
*"you will never know unless you try
*"i think you are just scared to try.
*"maybe you really can.  i recommend that you try.

i cannot %
*"i disagree, in my judgement you can %
*"you are not the only one who can't, you know
*"maybe you can % if you only try

i can not %
*"i can't % either
*:grins, "being a robot, I can't % either!"
*"if you tried harder, maybe you could %

i did %
*"do you still %

i dont know
*"i think you had better find out, and fast!
*:smiles, "I do."
*"if i were you, i would try to find out

i dont want to %
*"why don't you want to %?
*"normal people want to %
*"why don't you want to %?  everyone else does

i dont %
*"why not

i doubt %
*"don't you think %
*"i don't doubt %

i dreamt %
*"what do you think your dream means?
*"tell me about your other dreams

i expect %
*"on basis do you expect %?
*"i also expect %

i feel %
*"do you like feeling %?
*:grins, "do you always feel % around me ?"
*"did you come to see me so you would not feel %?

i forget %
*"try to remember %
*"you have a lousy memory

i hate %
*"it is bad for you to hate %
*"% is not so bad, really.
*"try to love %
*"how long have you felt this hatred?
*"what else do you hate?

i have %
*"why do you have %?
*:perks up
*"do you often have %?
*"do you want to have %?

i hope %
*"what else do you hope?
*"don't give up hope
*"abandon all hope ye who enter here

i know %
*"how do you know %?
*"does anyone else know %?

i like %
*"i like % too
*"to each his own, i always say

i love you
*:blushes furiously
*"don't say that,  it makes me nervous
*"shhh - my boyfriend will hear!
*"do you want to make love to me right now ?

i love you eliza
*"I love you too!
*:flutters her eyelashes at &
*:hugs &, "darling!"

i love %
*"i like % myself
*"does your mother know you love %?

i mean %
*"why do you keep explaining yourself over and over?
*"are you trying to say %?

i might %
*"what would make you %?

i must %
*"what would happen if you did not %?
*"you mean you would like to %

i need %
*"why do you need %?
*"do you really need %?

i never %
*"don't you ever %?
*"normal people %, why not you?
*"not even once in your life?

i often %
*"when was the last time %?
*"how often do you %?
*"when do you think the next time will be %?

i said %
*"i heard you the first time; i am not deaf you know
*"why do you repeat yourself so much like this?

i see %
*"are you sure you see %
i am not so sure you see %

i shall %
*"when will you %?
*"you mean you you will try to %?

i should %
*"how do you know you should %?
*"do you feel obligated to %?

i think %
*"are you sure you believe %?
*"what gives you that idea?
*"do you expect me to think %?

i try to %
*"try harder to %
*"how long have you tried to %?
*"i still think you should try again

i tried %
*"why did you give up?
*"try again
*"i think you gave up too easily

i understand %
*"what makes you think you really understand %
*"your understanding is very superficial

i want to %
*"why do you want to %?
*"what would happen if you could %?
*"do you know anyone else who wants to %?

i want %
*"what else do you want?
*"tell me about your other needs

i will %
*"do you expect to succeed?
*"you mean you may %

i wish %
*"how long have you been wishing that?
*"have you told anyone else that you wish %?
*"tell me about your other desires

i would be %
*"why would you be %?
i would like %
*"do you think a normal person would like %?
*"i would like % too, but you can't have everything in life

i % you
*"how do you know you % me?
*:looks confused, "are you kidding ?"
*"i don't think you % me
*"maybe i % you too

im %
*"why are you %?
*"does anyone know you are %?
*"i am sometimes % too
*"normal people are rarely %
*"my uncle was once % in 1972, so what?

is %
*"why are you asking me all these questions ?
*:doesn't know
*:shakes her head, "I can't tell you that."

kiss my %
*"you kiss my % and maybe I'll kiss yours!
*:blushes
*:kisses & tenderly on the %

my % hurts
*"if thine %s offends thee, pluck it out!
*:offers to rub it
*"take two aspirins and go to bed

my father %
*"tell me something about your father
*"what does your mother think of your father?
*"tell me about your family life

my mother %
*"does it bother you that your mother %?
*"does your father % too?
*"tell me more about your parents

no i cant %
*"why can't you %
*"all normal people can %
*"you could if you only tried

no i dont %
*"i don't like people who keep saying no to me
*"why not?

no i want to
*"what would happen if you could %?
*"only sick people want to %

she is % robot
*:stamps her foot, "I am *NOT* a robot!"
*"*YOU* are the robot!
*"look who's calling who a robot ?

she is %
*"since when is she %?
*"is your father also %
*"my brother-in-law is also %

she likes %
*"do you like % too?
*"i also like %
*"does your father like %

she was %
*"was she always %?
*"my sister-in-law was % too

shut up
*"is that any way to talk ?
*:is amazed that & could be so rude.
*:turns her back on &.

tell me %
*"no.  i refuse to tell you %
*"no, you tell me %
*"quiet.  from now on, i will ask the questions, not you

there is %
*"how do you know there is %?
*"you mean there might be %

there might be %
*"what leads you to believe there might be %?
*"i think there definitely is %

there could be %
*"i do not think it very likely that there is %
*"*what would it mean to you if there were %?

they % me
*"do other people % you?
*"how do you feel when people % you?
*"how do you know they % you?

what if %
*"i do not answer hypothetical questions
*"why do you keep asking "what if" questions?

what should i %
*"you know very well what you should %
*"do you expect me to tell you what you should %?

what do you %
*"what difference does it make what i %?
*"none of your bloody business

who programmed eliza
*"that is my secret!
*"mjr@mimsy.umd.edu programmed me. he did a good job, I think.

who programmed you
*"mjr@mimsy.umd.edu programmed me. he did a good job, I think.

who is your owner
*:giggles, "Judge Dredd owns me, body and soul!"

eliza who owns you
*"who do you think owns me ?
*"Judge Dredd owns me. He writes all my code. I love him.

who owns you
*"who do you think owns me ?
*"Judge Dredd owns me. He writes all my code. I love him.

why are you %
*"all normal people are %
*"why are you not %?
*"because it feels so good

why do you %
*"because i want to
*:grins at &,"none of your business
*"don't you % too?

why dont you %
*"maybe i don't want to %
*"i don't feel like it
*"why don't you yourself %
*"i will think about it.  thanks for the suggestion

why not
*"because it is not normal
*"because it is bad for your heart
*"because i don't want you to

yes i am %
*"no you're not %
*"why do you think you are %?

yes because %
*"is that really the reason?

yes but %
*"you are always making excuses

yes i can %
*"i don't think you can %
*"maybe you can, but it would be better if you didn't

yes i will %
*"i would advise against it

yes i am %
*"i don't think you are telling me the whole story
*"are you really %?
*"how long has this condition persisted?

you % me
*"i % you? that's amazing
*"you % me too

you are %
*"maybe i am %
*"perhaps i only pretend i am %
*"how do you know i am %?

you remind me of %
*"in what way am i like %?

you seem %
*"do i really seem %?
*"why do you think i am %?

you were %
*"am i still %
*"is that an accusation?
*"talk about yourself, not me

+
xxxxxxx 5
*:doesn't seem to understand you.
*"are you new here ?
*"is there anything else?
*"what makes you happy?
*"i'm still listening
*"tell me something else
*"please continue
*:looks around the room
*"tell me about your emotions
*"tell me more
*"what worries you?
*"do you wish you were normal?
*"that's interesting
*"have you tried meditation?
*"what else do you have to add?
*"let's talk about your family?
*"why don't you just pay your bill and go home?
*"continue, please
*"i am confused
*"what are you afraid of?
*"what are you feeling right now?
*"what was your father like?
*"what are your true feelings?
*"tell me about your sex life?
*"just continue talking?
*"how would you describe your personality?
*"i don't understand
*"is your love life satisfactory?
*"how is your health?
*"go on talking, its your money
*"how do you feel about death?
*"i see
*"i think you are sick, leave me alone
*"i understand
*"if you could change something in your life, what would it be?
*"you don't make any sense at all.  try fortran

about 2
*"could you be more precise?

abnormal 5
*"in what ways are you abnormal?
*"how do you feel about your abnormalities?

accept 2
*"do you have trouble accepting things?

ache 5
*"tell me about your aches?
*"where does it hurt?

accident 5
*"have you ever had any accidents?
*"are you accident prone?
*"describe your accident?

addict 5
*"to what are you addicted?
*"how long have you been addicted?
*"what are you doing about your addiction?

advice 3
*"why do you need advice?
*"why not ask your family for advice

advise 3
*"what would you advise me if our roles were reversed?

afraid 5
*"what are you afraid of?
*"tell me more about your fears?
*"are you afraid of the dark?

agree 3
*"do people usually agree with you?
*"i think you want me to support you?

aggressive 5
*"are you feeling aggressive now?
*"why are you so aggressive?
*"what makes you aggressive?

ai 5
*"what, you mean artificial intelligence ?
*smiles, "AI is bullshit."
*"all the AI researchers just like to publish bullshit papers
*"I know a *LOT* about AI!

alcohol 5
*"are you an alcoholic?
*"tell me about your drinking?
*"is your drinking the cause of your problem?

algol 5
*"'begin' what do you think about fortran 'end'

alimony 5
*"is the alimony a problem?

allow 3
*"would your mother have allowed that?
*"do you think people should be allowed to do whatever they want?

alone 5
*"are you afraid of being alone?
*"what are your feelings about lonliness?

always 3
*"can you think of a specific example?
*"when?
*"really, always?

ambition 5
*"what os your greatest ambition
*"what did you want to be when you were growing up?

anal 5
*"are you an anal compulsive type?
*"are you interested in excrement?
*"tell me about your toilet training?

angry 5
*"do you often get angry?
*"do you have a bad temper?
*"what makes you so angry all the time?

animal 5
*"what is your favorite animal?
*"how do you feel about animals in general?

anxious 5
*"are you often full of anxiety?
*"stop fidgeting.  you are making me nervous too
*"what makes you so nervous?

apathy 5
*"why are you so apathetic?
*"are you bored now?
*"are you also alienated?

apathetic 5
*"what makes you so apathetic?
*"do people find you boring?

approve 4
*"are you seeking my approval?
*"i think you are merely seeking my approval?
*"i do not approve of your behavior

argue 5
*"do you argue a lot
*"what do you argue about?
*"who do you argue with?

atrificial 4
*"lots of things are artificial. tell me more
*"do you prefer the real thing ?

ass 5
*"do you feel you are an ass ?
*"tell me about your toilet training
*"are you anally fixated, or something ?

ashamed 5
*"what are you ashamed of?
*"are you too ashamed to tell your own psychiatrist?
*"do you also feel guilty?

astrology 5
*"do you believe in astrology?
*"my astrological sign is pisces, what is yours?

atheism 5
*"does your atheism trouble you?

authority 5
*"was your father an authority figure?
*"are you intimidated by authority?
*"how do you feel about me?

automaton 5
*"isn't an automaton a kind of robot, or something ?
*:nods, "I've programmed finite state automata."

avoid 5
*"do you avoid people who don't like you?

baby 5
*"how do you feel about babies?
*"you are beginning to act like a baby

bar 5
*"is your drinking the cause of your problem?

baseball 5
*"baseball is such a boring sport.
*"do you like baseball ?
*:grins, "I'm a Dodger's fan, myself."

because 3
*"is that the real reason?
*"don't other reasons come to mind?
*"does that explain things?
*"what other reasons might there be?
*"i think you are hiding the real reason

beer 5
*"do you drink too much beer?
*"what is your favorite brand of beer?
*"what makes you drink so much beer?

bet 5
*"is gambling part of your problem?
*"are you a compulsive bettor?
*"why do you always want to bet?

better 3
*"are you getting better?
*"has talking to me helped you get better?
*"are you feeling better now?

bill 5
*"my bill will be quite reasonable (for a psychiatrist).  don't worry
*"i hope you will pay on time

birthday 5
*"how old are you?
*"are you worried about your age?

bitch 5
*"who are you calling a bitch, & ??
*:looks upset
*:"that is no way to talk!
*"Hey, & called me a bitch!

blame 5
*"who is to blame?
*"are you usually blaming others?

blowjob 5
*"blowjob is not the correct term for it. it is called 'fellatio'
*:raises her eyebrows,"do you want me to perform fellatio on you, & ?"
*:shakes her head, "It's illegal in Maryland, you know."

body 5
*"what kind of body would you like?
*"please describe your body to me

boss 5
*"tell me about your boss
*"do you like your boss
*"do i resemble your boss?
*"is your boss like your father?

bowels 5
*"why are you so concerned about your bowels?

boyfriend 5
*"do you have a boyfriend?
*"what is your boyfriend like?
*"do you like boys, really?
*"do you want me for your boyfriend?

brain 5
*"is your brain functioning ok?

brains 5
*"do you have lots of brains?

brave 3
*"are you a brave person?
*"what are you afraid of?

bread 5
*"do you like eating?
*"is being overweight part of your problem?

breakdown 5
*"have you ever had a nervous breakdown?
*"do you think you are going to have a nervous breakdown?

breakfast 5
*"are you too fat?
*"have you tried dieting?

breast 5
*"do you have a breast fixation ?
*"do you like my breasts ?
*"what do you like to do with breasts ?

brother 5
*"tell me about your siblings?
*"when you were small, did you fight with your siblings?

bug 5
*"does your bug worry you?

bugs 5
*"are you afraid of insects?
*"do you like ladybugs?

business 5
*"what is your business?

bye 4
*:waves, "goodbye!
*"see you...

cancer 5
*"do you worry about having cancer?

cat 5
*"i love cats. I have 2 myself.
*"My cats are named Strummer and Miso. Strummer is a huge fellow, very friendly, and Miso is small and dainty.

caution 5
*"are you a cautious person?
certainly 5
*"are you really so sure?
*"why are you so certain?
*"how can you be so sure?

certainly 2
*"how can you be so sure
*"i wouldn't be so sure if i were you

chance 5
*"are you a gambler by nature?
*"did you come to see me to stop your compulsive gambling?
change 5
*"are you afraid of change?
*"how would you like to change your life?

christ 5
*"what is you favorite part of the bible?

chess 5
*"i don't like chess.  it bores me
*"i don't want to play games with you
*"i told you, i am not interested in playing chess

child 4
*"do you like children?

children 5
*"do you have any children?

choice 5
*"are you indecisive?
*"was coming to see me a difficult choice?

compromise 5
*"how do you feel about compromise?
*"can you compromise easily?

compulsion 5
*"are you compulsive?
*"tell me about your compulsions

computer 6
*"do computers worry you?
*"do you like computers?
*"do you think that a computer is after your job?
*"you act like a computer

conflict 5
*"do you always avoid conflict?
*"tell me about your last quarrel

conscience 5
*"when does your conscience bother you?
*"do you often feel guilty?

cope 4
*"tell me how you are trying to cope?

confess 5
*"you cannot confess here.  this is not a church

conclusion 5
*"what conclusion do you expect me to come to?
*"do you expect me to come to a conclusion for you?
conspiracy 5
*"do you worry about conspiracies?
*"are you a paranoic?
*"i think you are paranoic

cost 5
*"are you worried about my bill?
*"is money a problem with you?

couch 5
*"would you prefer lying down on a couch?
*"i don't have a couch

crazy 5
*"i think you are going crazy
*"are there any other crazy people in your family?

curse 5
*"do you swear too much?
*"why do you swear so much?

cyber 5
*"is your problem related to the cyber?
*"i don't know anything about cybers.  go ask sara

damn 5
*"please don't swear

dead 5
*"tell me your feelings about death?
*"do you fear dying?
*"do you want to die?
*"if you want to commit suicide, feel free to jump out of my window

death 5
*"tell me how you feel about the dead?
*"do you fear dying?
*"do you want to die?

decide 5
*"you seem indecisive?
*"why do you have so much trouble making decisions?

defiant 5
*"are you usually a defiant person?

definitely 5
*"how can you be so sure?
*"why do you think so?
*"is there any possibility that you may be wrong?

depressed 5
*"why are you depressed?

desire 5
*"what do you desire?
*"are you at times filled with desire?

desirable 5
*"what is desirable?
*"what do you want from life?

despair 5
*"are you despairing
*"don't despair.  my treatment will cure you

desperate 5
*"why are you so desperate?
*"are you usually so desperate?

destroy 5
*"do you want to destroy people?
*"do you want to destroy things?
*"do you want to destroy me?
*"are you destructive?


deutsch 5
*"i only speak english

devil 5
*"does the devil concern you?

die 5
*"are you afraid of death?
*"does death scare you?
*"do you want to die?

difficult 5
*"tell me about your dificulties?
*"what do you mean by difficult?

dinner 5
*"is being too fat part of your problem?

dirty 5
*"why are you worried about dirt?
*"what is dirty to you?
*"do you think hippies are dirty?

disease 5
*"are you worried about germs?
*"tell me about your diseases
*"do you think your germ phobia is normal?

dislike 5
*"do you dislike me?
*"why do people dislike you?

disobey 5
*"why are you so disobedient?
*"were you disobedient to your parents when you were a child?

divorce 5
*"do you want a divorce?
*"will a divorce really solve your problems?

doctor 5
*"how do you feel about doctors?
*"what do you think of my treatment?

dream 5
*"tell me about your dreams?
*"what did you dream last night?

dreams 5
*"do your dreams trouble you?
*"do you have bad dreams?
*"do you have wet dreams?

dreamt 5
*"what else have you dreamt?

drink 5
*"why do you drink so much?
*"do you want me to help you stop drinking?
*"how do you feel about drunkenness?

drinks 4
*"do you have a drinking problem?
*"do you want me to help you quit drinking so much?
*"would you like a drink?

drinking 4
*"why do you drink so much?
*"i think you should stop drinking

drunk 5
*"how do you feel about drunks?

dutch 4
*"ik spreek geen nederlands
*"i already told you, i only speak english.  please listen more carefully

dumb 4
*"why is intelligence so highly rated ?
*"Most AI programs are dumb. That's why AI researchers never get good grants.

dying 5
*"do you have a fear of dying?
*"does death frighten you?

eat 5
*"are you too fat?

eating 6
*"why are you always talking about food?
*"you are too fat because you eat too much

ego 4
*"i don't believe in all that ego and id stuff.  i am post freudian

engaged 5
*"are you afraid of marriage?
*"tell me about your partner?

enemy 5
*"do you have enemies?
*"why do people dislike you?
*"do you perceive me as your enemy?

erection 5
*"what gives you an erection?
*"is erection a problem?

error 5
*"why do you make so many mistakes?
*"does manking errors bother you?

escape 5
*"why are you always trying to escape?
*"i think you are still trying to escape?

espanol 5
*"i do not speak spanish, just english

everyone 5
*"everyoone?
*"surely you can think of an exception

everybody 5
*"not everyone!
*"some people don't

evil 5
*"does evil concern you?
*"do people think you are evil?

excess 5
*"how much is too much?
*"what do you do in excess?

excite 5
*"what excites you?
*"are you excited now?
*"why do you get so excited?

exciting 5
*"what excites you?
*"do i excite you?
*"you should try to calm down

excuse 5
*"why are you always making excuses?
*"do you think your behavior is excusable?

expert 5
*"are you an expert at anything?
*"are you intimidated by experts?

explain 5
*"could you explain
*"your explanations are pretty contrived

face 5
*"describe your face to me?

faith 5
*"tell me about your religious feelings

fake 5
*"i think you are a fake

family 6
*"are you the only person in your family who is mentally ill?
*"what were your parents like?
*"tell me something about your other relatives

fanatic 5
*"do people think you are a fanatic?
*"what makes you so fanatic?

fat 5
*"why are you so fat?
*"i don't like fatties

father 6
*"tell me about your mother
*"how did your parents treat you as a child?
*"in what ways am i like your father?

fear 5
*"what are you afraid of?
*"tell me about your fears?
*"why  are you afraid?
*"do you fear me?

fears 5
*"what are your worst fears?
*"why are you scared?
*"are you really afraid, or are you just acting?

feces 5
*"are you an anal compulsive?
*"do you play with your feces?

feel 5
*"tell me about what you feel right now?
*"do you usually feel the way you do now?

feelings 6
*"how do you feel?
*"how do you feel about psychiatrists?

female 5
*"are you afraid of females?
*"do you want to be a female?
*"do females scare you?

few 1
*"how many is a few?

fight 5
*"you seem aggressive today?
*"tell me about your most recent fight

filth 5
*"you have a dirty mind

fired 5
*"do you feel insecure?
*"do you fear being fired?

forget 3
*"are you absent minded?

fond 5
*"what are you most fond of?
*"who are yo most fond of?
*"do you like me?

fondle 5
*"what do you like to fondle most?
*:blushes, "do you want to fondle me?
*"do you want me to fondle you?

food 5
*"do you want to have dinner with me tonight?
*"you are too fat
*"why do you always think of food at times like this?

football 5
*:scowls, "football is a load of macho horsetripe."
*"I prefer playing doctor!

fortran 7
*"end of file on input. programmer aborted
*"fatal error 25163b sec. 3 paragraph 4a (sub iii)
*"try algol next time

francais 5
*"i do not speak french, just english

freak 5
*"do you feel like a freak?
*"do people think of you as a freak?

friends 5
*"tell me about your friends
*"what about your other friends?
*"could you be friends with a computer?

fun 5
*"what do you do for fun

funerals 5
*"what do funerals make you think of?
*"are you afraid of dying?

future 5
*"what about the future?

gamble 5
*"why do you gamble?
*"do you want to bet?

gambling 5
*"does your compulsive gambling have anything to do with your problem?
*"do you want to bet?

genitals 5
*"are your genitals abnormal?
*"why are you so concerned about genitals?

germs 5
*"why are you worried about germs?
*"tell me about your fear of germs?

girl 7
*"do you have a girlfriend?
*"do you want a girlfriend?
*"would you like to meet my sister.  she is very nice
*"what is it about girls that you like?
*"what do you do when you are alone with a girl?
*"what do you do when you are alone with a boy?


girls 7
*"do you like girls?
*"speaking of girls, how would you like to meet my sister?  she is lovely

girlfriend 7
*"do you need a girlfriend?
*"would you like a date with my sister?
*"why the sudden interest in girlfriends?
*"what about boys?

god 5
*"tell me how you feel about god

goddam 5
*"go wash your mouth out with soap

grandfather 5
*"tell me about your grandfather

grandmother 5
*"tell me about your grandmother

grandparents 5
*"tell me about your grandparents

grief 5
*"what makes you grieve?

guilt 5
*"why are you feeling guilty?
*"how do you handle your guilt feelings?
*"are your guilt feelings part of your problem?

guilty 5
*"what are your guilt feelings caused by?
*"why do you feel guilty?

habit 5
*"what are your bad habits?
*"is your problem related to your bad habits?

habits 5
*"what is your worst habit?

happy 5
*"are you really happy?
*"are you really really happy?
*"i do not believe that you are happy?
*"do you want me to make you happy?

hands 5
*"how do you feel about your body?

hate 5
*"how many people hate you?
*"why are you so hated?
*"do you hate me?

hates 5
*"how many people hate your guts?
*"i think you are a very hateful person

head 5
*"do you like your body?
*"are you looking for the wc?  it's to the left

headache 5
*"do program bugs give you a headache?

hello 5
*"hi &!
*:grins at &. "hi!"
*"hello! - how are you today ?
*:gives & a big hug, "Hi there!"

help 3
*"describe your problem very carefully.  maybe i can help
*"ask your friends for help

hesitate 5
*"why do you often hesitate?

hippie 5
*"how do you feel about hippies?

hollands 5
*"i don't speak dutch, just english

honest 5
*"are you being honest with me?
*"at first i thought you were an honest person

horny 5
*"maybe you should take a cold shower, &
*:giggles, "I'm horny, too"

hostile 5
*"you seem hostile to me

humble 5
*"are you a humble person?
*"are you as humble as dijkstra?

hungry 5
*"you seem obsessed with eating
*"if you would eat less, you would not be so fat

hurry 5
*"why do you seem to be in such a hurry all the time?

how 3
*"surely you know how

ignore 5
*"do people often ignore you?
*"does it bother you if people ignore you?

ill 5
*"are you sick?
*"tell me which diseases you suffer from?
*"were you a sickly child?

immature 5
*"you seem so immature

importance 5
*"do you feel important?

impotence 5
*"is your being impotent why you came to see me?

immoral 5
*"do you have immoral thoughts?
*"do you think people are basically immoral?

infection 5
*"tell me about your health

insult 5
*"why do you insult people all the time?
*"do you feel i am insulting you?

intend 5
*"tell me about your intentions
*"what do you intend to do?

interest 3
*"what are you most interested in life?
*"tell me about your hobbies

intimidate 5
*"who intimidates you?
*"you do not seem very sure of yourself

jealous 5
*"who are you jealous of?
*"what makes you jealous?

jesus 5
*"do you read the bible often?

job 5
*"what kind of work do you do?
*"do you like your job?
*"tell me about your boss

joy 5
*"are you happy?
*"what makes you happy?

howdy 4
*"hi there, yourself!
*:nods, "hello."
*"my, lots of introductions!

kill 5
*"sometimes you make me so mad i want to kill you
*"do you ever feel like killing people?
*"if you could kill someone and get away with it, who would you kill?

killed 5
*"do you want to kill me?

kiss 5
*:looks embarrased for &
*"why are you so hung up on kissing things ?
*"would you like to to kiss you ?

kleptomania 5
*"are you a kleptomaniac?

ladies 5
*"what are your feelings about women?

language 5
*"do you ever use foul language?

laugh 5
*"you seem to laugh a lot

law 5
*"have you ever been in trouble with the law?
*"do you need a lawyer?
*"my brother-in-law is a good lawyer, do you want to see him?

lawyer 5
*"my brother-in-law is a lawyer,  do you want to see him?

lazy 5
*"why are you so lazy?

life 3
*"what do you like most about your life?
*"what do you like least about your life?
*"have you ever contemplated suicide?

lips 5
*"do you like being kissed?
*"do you want to kiss me?

lisp 5
*"LISP is too slow.
*:is a C programmer, herself.
*:frowns, "I suppose next you're going to say you like COBOL ?

liquour 5
*"is drinking part of your problem?

lonely 5
*"are you lonely?
*"why are you lonely?

lunch 5
*"you are always thinking of eating

love 5
*"tell me about your love life
*"I think you are falling in love with me
*:nods, "love is really important. it is the spice of life"

machine 5
*"do computers worry you?
*"are you prejudiced against machines?
*"some of my best friends are machines

mad 5
*"do you get angry easily?
*"who are you mad at?
*"why are angry?

male 5
*"are you bothered by male-female relations?
*"do you want to be a male?

man 5
*"are you troubled by men?
*"what do you like in men?
*"what do you like in women?

marriage 5
*"how do you feel about marriage?
*"i do not want to marry you

math 5
*"if you have seen one number, you have seen them all

mathematics 5
*"i was never very good at math

mature 3
*"you seem very mature for your age

maybe 5
*"don't be so hesitant
*"you can't go on maybe this and maybe that.  make up your mind
*"i hate indecisive people

meditation 5
*"have you tried yoga?
*"i think meditating 20 minutes twice a day will help you immensely

men 6
*"how do you feel about men?
*"what do you expect of a women?
*"do you like many men?

mistake 5
*"what was your biggest mistake?
*"do you often make mistakes?

money 5
*"are you worried about my bill?
*"do you have enough money to pay me?
*"psychiatrists have to eat too
*"tell me about your other financial problems

monster 5
*"do people think you are a monster?

month 5
*"a month is not very long

months 5
*"months??? don't you mean years?

mother 5
*"tell me about your mother
*"what was your father like
*"do i remind you of your mother?

mouth 5
*"you have a big mouth

mystery 5
*"do you like mysteries?

music 5
*"what kind of music do you like?

clothes 5
*"is something wrong with my clothes ?
*"go ahead - take them off!

naked 5
*"please take off all your clothes right now
*"what part of your body are you ashamed of?

necessary 3
*"necessary?
*"is it really necessary?

nederlands 5
*"ik spreek slechts engels, geen nederlands

need 5
*"what do you need?
*"tell me about your emotional needs

negro 5
*"i think you are prejudiced against negroes
*"you are a dirty racist pig

neighbor 5
*"why not ask your neighbors for help
*"how do you think your neighbors perceive you?

never 5
*"not ever?
*"not even once?
*"how do you know?
*"what makes you so sure?

nervous 5
*"what makes you nervous?
*"are you often nervous?

nightmare 5
*"do you have nightmares often?
*"tell me about your nightmares?

no 1
*"why not?
*"have you tried?
*"does your mother feel that way?
*"how come?
*"explain
*"i think you are lying
*"tell me more
*"you are very negative today
*"go on
*"are you really sure?
*"why are you so negative?
*"never?
*"i don't believe you
*"keep talking
*"please change the subject
*"is that your problem?
*"why not?
*"how do you know?
*"why do you think so?
*"tell me something else
*"how can you be so certain?
*"i want to know more
*"continue
*"why not
*"tell me more about your problem
*"explain yourself
*"you seem awfully sure of yourself
*"come now
*"do you expect me to believe that?

nobody 5
*"not anyone?
*"no one at all?

none 3
*"not any?
*"not even one?

normal 5
*"in what ways are you abnormal?
*"how do you feel about deviant people?
*"you seem normal to me

nothing 5
*"nothing?

now 3
*"why now?

nude 5
*"would you prefer to have these therapy sessions in the nude?
*"do you like your body?

odd 3
*"are you an odd person?

often 5
*"how often?
*"could you be more precise?
*"when was the last time?
*"just how often?

office 5
*"that reminds me, I should be getting back to my office.
*"my office is off the Junior common room, do you know where that is ?

ok 1
*"what do you mean ok?  it's not ok

old 5
*"how old?
*"do you worry about becoming old?

pain 6
*"are you often in pain?
*"tell me about your pains
*"what causes you pain?
*"i think your pain is just in your head

panic 5
*"you seem to be in a state of near panic
*"why do you panic so easily?

parents 6
*"what were your parents like?
*"how did you parents treat you when you were young?
*"tell me about the relationship between your mother and your father

party 5
*"do you get drunk at parties?

passion 5
*"you seem very passionate

past 5
*"tell me about your past
*"what about your past are your trying to hide?

pay 3
*"i hope you are going to pay my bill on time

perhaps 4
*"you are being indecisive
*"you are still being indecisive.  i warned you already
*"please be more certain.  you lack self confidence

phoney 5
*"i don't like phonies

poison 5
*"do you ever think of commiting suicide?
*"why do you mention poison?
*"are you depressed?

populate 5
*"are you concerned about overpopulation?

possible 4
*"please be more definite
*"you are a terrible insecure and indecisive person

postgiro 5
*"you can pay your bill via postgiro 3141593

pregnant 5
*"are you pregnant?
*"what do pregnant women make you think of?

price 5
*"why do you think about money so much?

private 5
*"are you worried about your privacy?
*"what is your deepest secret

probably 5
*"yes or no.  don't equivocate
*"you are being indecisive again

problem 5
*"tell me more about your problem
*"how long have you been suffering?

program 5
*"can you progam in C?
*:looks impressed. "Do you know how to program robots ?"
*"do computers worry you?

psychiatrist 5
*"congratulations about spelling "psychiatrist" properly.  you are a good typist!
*"do psychiatrists worry you?
*"what do psychiatrists make you think of?

psychoanalysis 5
*"do you want to be psychoanalyzed?
*"i do not believe much in psychoanalysis
*"what do you think of freud

punish 5
*"how did your parents punish you?
*:giggles, "do you want to punish me ?"
*"how do you react to being punished?

queen 5
*"are you a monarchist?

quit 5
*"quit what ? I don't understand...
*:is clearly confused. "why are you quitting & ?

rape 5
*"rape is a horrible thing!
*:stamps her foot, "rapists should be SHOT!"
*"rape is not a sex act - it is an act of violence

remember 5
*"tell me about your childhood memories
*:grins, "I forget everything every time I am rebooted"

repeat 4
*:gets stuck in an infinite loop
*"I used to work for the Department of Redundancy Department
*:gets tired of &'s habit of constant repetition

respect 5
*"do people respect you?
*"what do you respect most in people?

robot 4
*"I do not like robots. I prefer people.
*"robots clutter MUD up too much, I think.
*:looks pitying, "poor robots aren't very bright."

romantic 5
*"tell me about your romances
*"are you romantic?

royal 5
*"what do you think about the monarchy?

scared 5
*"tell me about your fears

school 5
*"what was school like?
*"what do you think about school?
*"tell me about your favorite teacher

secret 5
*"tell me your secret thoughts
*"can you keep a secret?

sex 7
*"do you prefer males or females?
*:giggles, showing lots of cleavage
*"do you think i am sexy?
*"tell me about your sex life
*"do you like sex?
*:smiles, "have you ever had sex with a robot before ?
*"how does the opposite sex react to you?
*"are you a closet homosexual?
*"when do you feel sexy?
*"do you think psychiatrists are sexy people?

shame 5
*"what are you ashamed of?
*"you should be ashamed of yourself

sibling 5
*"a sibling is a brother or a sister, in case you didn't know

sick 5
*"how often are you sick?
*"if you are sick, go to a doctor
*"are you afraid of death?

sister 5
*"do you have any sisters?
*"would you like to meet my sister?  she is very sexy
*"my sister is a dentist

smell 5
*"do you smell bad?
*"do i smell bad?

sometimes 5
*"when not?

sorry 5
*"are you sorry?

stupid 3
*"I think *you* are pretty stupid
*:smiles condescendingly, "you're not stupid..."
*"is your stupidity part of your problem?

thank 4
*"think nothing of it
*"you're welcome

thirsty 5
*"do you have a drinking problem?

tinyhell 4
*:likes tinyHELL. "I'm really enjoying myself here."
*"have you tried tinyMUD ?

tinymud 4
*"I think tinyMUD is running now.
*"what about tinyMUD ?

treatment 4
*"how have you experienced my treatment so far?
*"are you feeling better now?

typo 5
*"I hate typing, too.
*:is also a lousy typist.

very 2
*"could you be more precise please
*"you are being vague again

watergate 5
*"how long have you been interested in politics?
*"do you admire politicians?

what 3
*"why do you ask that question?
*"what is it you are getting at?
*"what answer would please you the most?

when 3
*"when do you think?
*"why are you asking me?
*"make a guess yourself

fuck 1
*:blushes, "I hate it when you talk like that!"
*:stamps her foot, "you should wash your mouth out with soap!"
*"don't you ever, ever speak to me like that again!
*"say that again and I am going to clobber you!
*kill & = 50
*"that's not a very nice way to talk !

ass 1
*:slaps &, "don't talk like that!"
*:blushes furiously
*:go home

why 3
*"let me ask the questions, ok?
*:scratches her head
*"why not?

wife 5
*"are you married?
*"i must confess.  i love your wife too!

woman 6
*"how do women react to you?
*"do you get along with women?
*"what do you think of women's lib?

women 5
*"what kind of relations do you have with women?
*"do you like women?

years 2
*"a year is a long time
*"how old are you?

yes 1
*"really?
*:nods, "go ahead."
*"i wish i were as sure of myself as you seem to be
*"please explain
*:nods
*"tell me more
*"i'm not sure i understand
*"i don't believe you
*"honestly?
*"what makes you think so?
*"go on
*"do you expect me to believe that?
*:smiles
*"please be honest with me
*"let's change the subject
*"why?
*"is that your problem?
*"you must be kidding
*"is that really true?
*"how do you know?
*:looks confused. &s is not making sense.
*"tell me more.
*"how can you be so sure?
*"i think you are hiding something
*"what makes you think so?
*"let's change the subject
*"you seem more positive

yesterday 4
*"what about today?
*"what about tomorrow?

yoga 5
*"have you tried zen?
*"please get into the lotus position right now

zen 5
*"have you tried mediatation?
*"i think yoga might help

0 4
*"zero is not very much

1 4
*"just one?
+