5
You sizzle with energy.
$n sizzles with energy.
You feel very holy.
$n looks very holy.
You show your bulging muscles.
$n shows $s bulging muscles.
You perform a small cardtrick.
$n plays around with some marked cards.
You charm the birds out of the trees.
$n is attacked by the local fauna.
You walk on burning hot coals and feel no pain.
$n walks on warm rocks and grits $s teeth in agony.
You do your best buff viking imitation.
$n looks buff.
You open your tome and feel raw power flowing through your veins.
$n opens a book, and pulses with raw power.
You feel like a champion of light.
$n looks like a holy defender.
You feel like a tamer of the wilderness.
$n looks like a grizzled explorer.
Your aura grows in strength as you concentrate.
A faint glow appears around $n's body. Could $s aura be that powerful?
10
You nonchalantly turn into a butterfly, then return to your normal shape.
$n turns into a butterfly before resuming $s normal shape.
You nonchalantly turn wine into water.
$n turns wine into water - what a waste.
You skillfully crack nuts between your index fingers.
$n cracks nuts between $s fingers.
You wiggle your ears alternately.
$n wiggles $s ears.
You nonchalantly step through the nearest tree.
$n shows off by walking through a tree.
You ask someone to break a wooden staff over your back.
$n asks you to hit $m with a staff, and you seriously cripple $m!
You put your feet in the water to cool them off after a hard day's work.
$n puts $s feet in the water. Many dead fish rise to the surface.
You write up a magic note with the words "kick me" and look for a victim.
$n pats you on the back.  Why does it feel like somebody's kicking you?
You meditate on senseless violence, and decide it's for the greater good.
$n decides to go and kill! What an evil person... or is $e?
You lift up a rock and find a hidden spring. You drink it dry.
$n finds some water, but drinks it all. Hey, save some for the fish!
When nobody's looking, you secretly transmute the Sanka into Foldger's.
$n is wearing a wry grin... hey, why does your coffee taste funny?
15
Blue sparks fly from your fingers.
Blue sparks fly from $n's fingers.
A halo appears over your head.
A halo appears over $n's head - but the colour !!!
You show your prowess by disarming yourself.
$n disarms $mself! What a goof.
You nimbly tie yourself into a knot.
$n ties $mself into a knot and needs help to get untangled.
You turn yourself into a beatiful rose, then return to your original form.
$n turns $mself into a potted plant for a few seconds.
You dance with the beautiful flowing motions that mark you as a monk.
$n moves about jerkily, marking $m as a clutz.
You grizzle your teeth and look mean.
$n grizzles $s teeth and looks mean.
You etch a pentagon in the ground and wonder why you can't summon demons.
$n tries unsuccessfully to summon demons into a pentagon.
You polish your armor until it glows.
$n stares at $s reflection in some shiny plate mail.
You wash your face in a stream, but you wish you could get a hot shower.
$n may be travel worn, but at least $e's clean.
You send your thoughts out and pick up the location of a nice restaurant.
Drool dribbles from $n's mouth as $e thinks of food.
20
You conjure red lights to dance in your eyes.
$n makes little red lights dance in $s eyes.
You recite words of wisdom first thought by your great god.
$n reads aloud from a childrens book.
You take a deep breath, and your pants fall down. Stupid belt!
$n takes a deep breath and $s pants fall in a heap about $s ankles.
You juggle with a variety of items such as daggers, apples, eyes etc.
$n juggles with daggers, apples, eyes, fishbones etc.
You conjure a small cloud to water a little plant near you.
$n makes a little cloud, but it just rains on the ground. How wasteful.
You footsweep everybody in the room.
$n swipes your feet out from under you! $e's gonna pay for that...
You hit your head with a blow that makes your eyes roll.
$n hits $s head with a blow that makes $s eyes roll helplessly around.
You fabricate a fake ID so you can get beer at Moe's.
$n waves $s hand and creates a fake ID! Now, who pays for the beer?
You dazzle everybody with the holy light coursing through your sword.
$n blinds you by reflecting light off $s sword at you.
You skillfully cover your tracks.
$n plays in the dirt.
You feel a fever coming on; you locate and destroy the viruses in your body.
$n grows very warm for a moment, and says, "I just cured the common cold!"
23
A slimy green monster appears before you and bows.
$n conjures a slimy green monster. Truly bad taste.
You levitate from concentrating too hard on a prayer.
$n levitates to show off.
You plant both feet firmly on the ground, fists on your hips, and smile widely.
$n shows off a pose $e learned from archetypical heroes.
You steal the underwear off every person in the room.
$n takes your underwear and turns it inside out before replacing it.
You phase your head into the ground and see what the worms are up to.
$n sticks $s head into the ground and looks like an ostrich.
You turn a log into kindling by chopping at it with your hands.
$n smacks at a log and it falls apart into little chunks. Impressive.
You munch a bottle to prove the strength of your teeth.
$n consumes a bottle to prove $s strength - but not $s brains !!
You create a glowing, black sword... and carefully cut your hair.
$n makes a glowing black sword cut $s hair.
Your guardian angel stands protectively over you.
A huge, glowing form hovers behind $n. Must be an angel. Yipes!
A deer walks by, and you fondly let her nuzzle your palm.
A deer walks by and walks over to $n. What's a deer doing here?!
You polymorph into a cat, stick your tongue out, then return.
A cat sticks its tongue out at you. Then it turns into $n?!
25
You turn everybody momentarily into little pink elephants.
$n turns you into a little pink elephant - momentarily.
You are consulted by a beautiful heavenly angel.
A beautiful heavenly angel is talking to $n.
You do 100 push-ups.
$n does 100 push-ups - Ahh, the colour of $s face.
You show your skills in a game of dice.
$n cheats in a game of dice.
You smile, and the grass grows another inch.
$n smiles, and weeds shoot up out of the ground.
You give yourself a message, touching just the right pressure points.
$n touches $mself in odd places and sighs in contentment. 
You smile. Somewhere, you hear glass shattering.
$n smiles. You happen to see a mirror shattering as $e does.
You turn yourself invisible, except for your digestive system. Everyone hurls.
$n gives you a nice view of $s digestive system. You lose your lunch.
You tell a lewd joke. The room falls silent. Oops.
$n tells a dirty joke, and blushes hotly when nobody laughs.
You tell a lewd joke. The room falls silent. Oops.
$n tells a dirty joke, and blushes hotly when nobody laughs.
You obliterate a pesky gnat with a thought.
$n frowns, and wrinkles $s brow. A gnat sizzles as it hits the ground.
28
A small ball of light dances on your fingertips.
$n makes a small lightball dance on $s fingerstips.
Your body begins to glow with an unearthly light.
$n's body begins to glow with an unearthly light.
You make Schwarzenegger seem like a kid.
$n makes a poor imitation of Schwarzenegger.
You count the money in everybody else's pockets.
$n counts your money and kindly asks you to check the result!
You dazzle everybody with stories about the local natural kingdom.
$n bores you with stories about stupid things like lichens.
You philosophize with the best of them.
$n spouts old platitudes of the Shaolin.
You bulge in places that Conan never bulged in.
$n looks kind of flabby.
You make Merlin seem like an apprentice by comparison.
$n will never be as good at magic as Merlin.
You make King Arthur seem like a boy scout.
$n wishes $e could be more like King Arthur.
You make Aragorn seem like a boy scout.
$n wishes $e could be more like Aragorn.
With your amazing powers of bodily control, you stick your foot in your mouth.
$n has managed to stick both of $s feet in $s mouth simultaneously.
30
You transform yourself into a hairball.
$n turns into a hairball - cute.
A spotlight appears from nowhere and places you in the centre.
A spotlight spots $n.
You juggle with granite boulders - watch your feet !!!
$n juggles with granite boulders to show off - WATCH YOUR FEET !!!
You balance a pocketknife on your tongue.
$n balances a pocketknife on $s tongue.
You seriously discuss the problems associated with animal husbandry.
$n is talking about marrying animals; it makes you want to puke!
You suspend your breathing and pulse for a minute.
$n stops breathing and turns blue. Could $e be dead?
You chant in ancient tribal rhythms.
$n remembers his heritage in an ancient tribal chant.
You pull a harmonica out of the ether and play "The Wizard."
$n pulls a harmonica out of thin air and plays a Black Sabbath tune.
You point your sword in the direction of Lycanthropia and hear an awful scream.
$n gives new meaning to the phrase "reach out and crush someone."
You point your sword in the direction of Graecia and hear an awful scream.
$n gives new meaning to the phrase "reach out and crush someone."
You grip the room in a psychic hug.
$n hugs you with the power of $s mind.
33
You rap in magical languages, causing lights to flicker and walls to tremble.
$n raps in strange magical languages, known only by $mself.
You make someone levitate.
You fleetly feel you fly as $n makes you levitate.
You use your sword to hack off a drumstick from a handy fowl.
$n has the right implements - spoon, fork, sword.
You get coins from everybody's ears.
$n pulls your ears in an attempt to produce coins.
You think like a predatory animal for awhile.
$n gets a predatory look in $s eyes.
You chant like the brothers of yore.
$n chants in a strange harmony which makes you wish YOU were devout.
You squeeze water out of granite boulders.
$n squeezes water out of granite boulders.
You amuse yourself by performing magic tricks.
$n pulls a rabbit out of a hat and grins widely. Dork.
You trip over a loose cobblestone. Geez, giving Paladins a bad name!
$n trips over a cobblestone, and glances around guiltily to see if anyone saw.
You trip over a loose branch. Geez, giving Rangers a bad name!
$n trips over a branch, and glances around guiltily to see if anyone saw.
You get some glass, heat your finger, and solder up some wire frame shades.
$n makes some wire frame shades with a nifty welding tool - $s finger.
35
You make your head disappear.
$n loses $s head.
You conjure a breeze to cool your forehead.
$n conjures a minor storm and goes kite-flying.
Since its the first tool you find at hand, you use a spear as a toothpick.
$n picks $s teeth with a spear.
You hide behind your own shadow.
$n tries make $mself invisible - you tactfully ignore $m.
You summon up a windstorm to spread the compost around.
$n calls up wind that nearly blows $m off $s feet!
You move swiftly and silently and secretly tap everybody on the shoulder.
$n taps you on the shoulder sneakily. You pretend not to notice $m.
You grab a misplaced brick, and grind it into powder!
$n grabs a brick and grinds it into powder.
You put happiness into a box and give it to a friend.
$n gives you a box. Inside is  a picture of $n's smiling face.
You put happiness into a box and give it to a friend.
$n gives you a box. Inside is  a picture of $n's smiling face.
You plunge your blade into the ground, slaughtering a poisonous snake.
$n sticks $s blade into the ground. Blood drips off it as $e removes it.
You point at someone, and telekinesize them around the room.
$n points at you, you are lifted off the ground and fly around wildly!
38
You summon a fire elemental, nearly losing your hair in the process.
$n gets $s hair burnt by a fire elemental.
You conjure a cloud to relieve you from the sun.
$n is showered by a raincloud appearing from nowhere.
You wipe your brow with a rag, and suck it dry. Better than dehydration...
$n refuses an offer of water and tries to drink $s own sweat. Yummy.
You get a greedy look in your eyes.
$n's eyes are pretty bloodshot...
Gaia appears, and bonks you on your head.
Gaia appears, and whacks $n soundly for trying to show off.
You preach passive resistance, then ask who wants to help take out Inhep.
$n talks about peace, but says, "We start by killing all the mobs..."
You sweep everybody off their feet in an attempt to hug them.
$n sweeps you off your feet, hugging the breath out of your lungs.
You utter the phrase 'exxon-valdez' and the room turns black.
Who, what, huh? The room just turned black for a second.
You call on high for an angel of light. Oh no! A prostitute came instead!
$n summons a prostitute to do $s bidding. Hmm...
You try to summon a lot of tiny squirrels but you get a huge one instead.
$n utters the words 'to me, my jungle friends!' A 200 lb. squirrel tramples $m.
You float above the ground, surrounded by fire, wrapped in a cloak, arms folded.
$n is an imposing sight indeed. You see a vision of fiery destruction.
40
You aim a fireball at the sky. The sky whimpers in terror.
$n lets a fireball explode in the sky. The sky whimpers in terror.
You part the great ocean...
$n parts a shallow pool and wades across with dry feet.
You split a tree into two parts and grin broadly.
$n chops a branch off a tree and seems very proud of $mself.
You steal excalibur from a bag - nobody notices.
$n steals excalibur from his own bag.
You create a blazing sword, and use it to roast marshmallows.
$n makes a flaming sword and toasts up some s'mores.
You leap into the air and the earth shakes tremendously as you land.
$n creates a minor earthquake after failing to launch $mself.
You do flip in the air and land on your head, denting the earth.
$n puts a hole in the ground by head-butting it. That's using $s noggin.
Your hand catches fire, and you slap an offensive groupee, leaving a red mark.
$n slaps you with a blazing palm. Was it something you said?
You mark your stance, lift your blade to the heavens, and purity consumes you.
$n lifts $s blade to the heavens and lightning strikes $m.
You kill a sparrow with one wing cut off out of mercy. Somebody will pay!
$n kills a disabled bird and looks around angrily for the perpetrator.
Your body obeys your every command. You order it to call for take-out.
$n's body seems to know who's boss.
43
You force everybody to skip and dance.
$n makes you skip and dance with a flick of $s fingers.
A thundercloud bows in awe of you.
$n is soaked as a thundercloud bows over $m.
You break a granite boulder into two.
$n breaks a chip off a granite boulder and roars with pleasure.
You sneak into somebody's pocket and hide there.
$n tries to hide in your pocket.
You conjure images of haloes and pitchforks, which you carefully avoid.
$n looks silly, trying to dodge invisible haloes and pitchforks.
You stick the butt of a spear in the ground and sit on its point.
$n uses a spear for a seat by sticking the blunt end into the ground...
You rub your back against the nearest wall. The wall breaks from your force.
$n leans against a wall. It's poorly made, and breaks under $s weight.
You pull a philosopher's stone out of your pocket and turn lead into gold.
$n shows you a rock that turns lead into pyrite. You're not impressed.
You fall to your knees and praise god that you are his instrument of justice.
You secretly admire the Paladin's self-sacrificing ways. Not!
You track a rainbow to its end, just to see the pot of gold fade away.
You laugh at $n while $e tries to find the end of the rainbow.
You make everyone in the room go on an acid trip.
Woah, pretty colors! Look at 'em swirl, man. It's suckin' you in! Aaaah!
45
You make the heaven green and the grass blue. Then you fall down laughing.
$n makes the sky and grass switch colours - weirdo !
You conjure a flaming cross.
$n conjures a flaming cross which quickly evaporates again.
Your shirt-seams rip open from the force of your bulging muscles.
$n's shirt is torn by $s bulging muscles, - anybody have a needle ?
You slip fireworks into the pockets of everybody in the room.
Your pocket explodes with the fireworks $n has put there.
You see people trodding on flowers, so you lift them off and hurl them away!
$n lifts you up and pushes you away from the flowers you were stepping on.
You break an iron bar over your head.
$n hits $mself in the head with an iron bar. It shatters! That had to hurt. 
Your rippling pecs hypnotize everybody in the room.
$n makes $s pectoral muscles writhe. You can't look away!
You utter the words 'Beware the ides of March!' You feel lucky.
$n summons a lucky aura about $mself. Either that or posing...
You could best all of Charlemagne's twelve peers, but you have good deeds to do.
$n looks like $e could take on 12 knights at once! Good thing $e's chivalrous.
You take a ginsu knife into each hand and put all the great chefs to shame.
$n puts $s dual wield talent to good use - two ginsu knives plus one kitchen.
Professor X wishes he were as good at using his mental powers as you are.
$n tries to be like Professor X.
48
With a sweep of your hand you turn everybody's clothes transparent.
$n turns everybody's clothes transparent, including $s own.
You summon a BALROG who glares balefully at you.
$n summons a balrog who seems rather annoyed with $m.
You chop firewood with your bare hands.
$n struggles to break a match without getting splinters in $s hands.
You steal a book which is inscribed with large friendly letters : DON'T PANIC!
$n fiddles with a book whose cover says : DON'T PANIC!
You fix a spider's web with amazing speed.
$n plays with a spider's web. A spider wanders over and bites you. 
You have mastered the arts of Kung Fu, Sun Tsu, and Kung Pao.
$n may be an incredible monk, but $e STILL can't eat with chopsticks.
You itch yourself, kill a fly with a club, and belch all at the same time.
$n shows incredible multi-tasking ability : itching, scratching, belching...
You lower the room temperature by a few hundred degrees. Brrr!
$n turns the summer's day to a nice, balmy -40 degrees.
Feeling charitable, you look around for someone to lay your hands on.
$n looks like $e wants to cop a feel on you!
You could beat Robin Hood in a race through the forest.
$n looks like $e could dash through forests and get beer for us!
You scoff at the Abyss Lord, who is trying unsuccessfully to summon you.
$n grunts under the strain of opposing the Abyss Lord's summons.
50
You create a black hole - OOPS, where did all the others go?
$n creates a black hole and disappears.
You try to contact God, but he hangs up on you.
$n makes an obscene phonecall to God.
You create a minor earthquake by stamping your feet.
Dust covers $n as $e tries to tapdance.
You steal the ozone layer and get a good suntan.
$n steals the ozone layer and starts sprouting extra limbs, ears and toes.
You invoke the name of Gaia; she makes you feel warm and squishy.
$n mispronounces Gaia's name and inadvertently summons Baal!
You support yourself by standing on two fingers.
$n puts $s entire weight on just two fingers. Looks painful!
You massacre an ox, roast it, and gulp it down... all in under ten minutes.
$n stretches human endurance to new heights, by eating an entire ox.
Just for kicks, you shrink someone's head. literaly.
$n shrinks your head. You vow to set fire to $s hair.
You fall upon your blade to meet god. He smiles, and resurrects you.
$n falls upon $s blade, and dies, but is revived by a holy light.
You summon will o' the wisps to lead your enemies to their doom.
$n summons tiny, sentient, flying, glowing life forms...
You heat everyone's armor and equipment with a thought. They curse loudly.
You feel your possessions becoming very hot. You curse loudly!
61
You clone the world and take a close look at your other self.
$n looks into a mirror and thinks $e has cloned the world.
To prove your superiority you try out all your spells at the same time.
$n tries out all $s spells at the same time, causing a disaster.
You split atoms with your fingernails.
$n gets dirt under $s nails but doesn't seem to mind.
With a couple of lockpicks, you skillfully open the door to the universe.
$n opens the doors to the universe. Close it, there's a cold draft!
You blend in with your surroundings, like a chameleon.
$n scrambles $s genes, so that $e resembles dirt.
You summon the grand master of monks and kick him into the atmosphere.
$n summons the master of monks and kicks him to the moon.
You crumple a piece of paper, and rubbing it between your palms, make fire.
$n burns a perfectly good scroll, using only $s bare hands.
You balance your checkbook with a handy little cantrip.
$n's can't add, and $s spell adds even worse!
You wield a holy sword with +5/+5 and 50d6 fireballs. Everybody cringes.
$n wields the most insane equipment... 50d6 fireballs from a sword, ha!
You alter your features to resemeble a happy fuzzy. Everybody laughs.
$n makes $mself look like a happy fuzzy. Morbus screams.
You alter your features to resemeble a happy fuzzy. Everybody laughs.
$n makes $mself look like a happy fuzzy. Morbus screams.
69
You turn the world upside down and inside out.
$n turns the world upside down and inside out.
You summon the Milky-way, oh boy, what a great galaxy.
$n summons a Milky-way and eats it with great pleasure.
You lift the world on your little finger and spin it around.
$n sends the whole world spinning.
You steal the universe, but have problems fitting it into your pocket.
$n steals the universe and tries to fit it into $s pocket.
You make the seasons go backwards, but nobody notices; they're too slow.
$n makes some grand sweeping gestures which accomplish nothing useful.
You reach into the floor and pull out the heart of the world.
$n sticks $s hand through the floor and pulls out a pulsing rock.
You # goto 69, and trans everybody into the void for a minute.
$n sends you to the void. Now what do you do?! Oh, good, $e brought you back.
You politely ask Satan to return your Grand Grimoire.
Satan gives $n a magical text and walks away, mumbling vile curses.
You are more righteous than Richard the Lion-hearted.
$n is more righteous than King Richard ever was.
You commune with every mob in existence.
$n gets a vast comprehension of the present state of mobiles' movements.
You open a portal to the sun, to warm your feet.
$n opens a portal to the sun. Don't stand that close!
70
You recode the entire universe, and bring it back up before anyone notices.
$n rewrites the universe in the time it takes you to blink.
You summon Thor's hammer, pick it up, and use it to clean your teeth.
$n summons Thor's hammer, and picks his teeth with it.
You lift up the universe, and find some change, which you quickly take.
$n lifts up the universe, and gleefully finds $s keys underneath.
You steal every politician's mind, but they don't seem to notice.
$n steals the mind of every politician, but they don't seem to notice.
You grow a new world from scratch.
$n nurtures a small blue and white globe that looks chillingly familiar...
You look up and consider using quivering palm on the universe.
$n shakes $s fist at the sky.
You crash the universe, but the mud stays up!
$n growls at the universe angrily, and it hides in the corner.
You research a new spell - obliterate zone.
$n turns a baleful eye upon Morbus' zones and smiles wickedly!
You blind everybody with a holy light and incredible physique.
$n's Adonis-like physique causes you to sigh in jealousy.
You predict the weather on every planet in the universe.
$n talks about weather patterns on planets you've never heard of.
You evolve mankind to transcend, but think better of it and they revert.
You suddenly feel an inner peace, but it goes away. $n grins.
-1