25 Sep, 2008, niori wrote in the 1st comment:
Votes: 0
Ok, so i'm a builder on a MUD. I have my area built, and named and everything (minus mobs and objects), but i can not for the life of me come up with a room description for the last room i have to do.
1. it is a DBZ based MUD
2. the area i am building is for beginners with the hylian race (from the Legend of Zelda games for those of you that don't know)
3. the maps that i used to create the area, are the same maps from the original Legend of Zelda for the NES's first quest dungeons
4. the room i can't come up with a description for is the room after Gannon, with Princess Zelda

Any help or suggestions you guys might be able to throw my way, would be greatly appreciated.
25 Sep, 2008, Mabus wrote in the 2nd comment:
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I often tell new builders:

1) Close your eyes.
2) "Be" in the room.
3) "See" the room.

If you were in the room, what would standout? Is it the blood stains on the floor? The lantern with cracked glass on the table? Something hanging from the ceiling that you cannot quite make out? Chains on the wall looking rather rusty?

I also find a thesaurus handy when I build. Not the online ones, but an actual book. When I go to look up a word (because I try to never use the same word twice in a room) I have often ran across several more on my way there that really sparked ideas.

I know this is very likely not what you were looking for, but my head is heavy from coffee and code. Good luck with your room.
25 Sep, 2008, The_Fury wrote in the 3rd comment:
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Avoid using long unwieldy sentences separated by commas. Write precisely what is needed and avoid being overly verbose. It is usually easier to read short concise sentences.
25 Sep, 2008, Igabod wrote in the 4th comment:
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for some reason i think niori was just trying to get someone to do his/her (ambiguous name) work for him/her. unfortunately for you niori that's probably not gonna happen. nice try though, can't blame ya one bit.

[edit] P.S. whats up with a dbz mud having an area based on zelda?? the two aren't even remotely similar subjects.
25 Sep, 2008, David Haley wrote in the 5th comment:
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Mabus's advice is good for visualizing the room. Basically you want to describe key features that are either functional (provide useful information) or mood-creating (give a feel to the room). And while I would generally agree with what Fury said, there isn't anything wrong with a well-crafted long sentence per se; it's just that it's usually harder to write a nice long sentence than a nice short sentence.
25 Sep, 2008, Skol wrote in the 6th comment:
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Good advice all around. I build that way as well, picture the room in my head, then just describe what I see.
On never using the same word twice, it's only an issue (i feel that is) if you get repetitive. IE. A wet glistening table stands in the corner with glistening silverware upon glistening plates. (hehehe). But yeah, avoid that.
Fury has a good point about sentence length and commas as well.

So niori, stand in the middle of the room. What do you see?
There's your desc.
25 Sep, 2008, David Haley wrote in the 7th comment:
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The real problem with commas etc. is when people don't know how to use them. Well-placed commas are hardly noticed, but an ill-placed comma glares at you almost as much as the troll in the corner of the room…
25 Sep, 2008, Skol wrote in the 8th comment:
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Crap, who put that troll there?
25 Sep, 2008, elanthis wrote in the 9th comment:
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The other problem with commas is when people don't use them at all. English is a bit dependent on the comma for separating many kinds of clauses. Advice to avoid commas is akin to advice warning against the use of periods. ;)

Each room should have an element that makes it unique from every other room in the MUD. A series of rooms that all just say "you're in a forest" in different ways makes the whole area hard to navigate (which might be your goal if the area is the Lost Woods, I suppose) as well as making it uninteresting and unmemorable to the player. There are a huge number of interesting things to put in a forest. Give each room one of those things. Maybe one room has a small pond. Another room has a large clearing. Yet another has a mushroom circle. Another has an old, twisted oak. Another has an old campsite. You get the idea. This makes the game easier to navigate because it gives players landmarks, and it makes the game world more interesting because each room has something memorable about it.

When writing the room description, you want to basically just describe that special feature of the room, and use contextual clues to describe the general area. You don't need to say, "You're in a forest," if you instead just express that fact while describing the mushroom circle. e.g., "A small circle of mushrooms lies nestled amongst the roots of two great trees. Rays of [sunlight/moonlight], cast through the green canopy overhead, illuminate the red caps and gleam off of the dew collected along their rims. Nothing but grass grows inside of the circle, a stark contrast to the myriad of flora covering the ground around the other trees."

Start off with the special feature. Describe it in more detail, and with that description you can also describe everything else around the feature. Contrast it to the "regular" surroundings. Describe it using other features of the surrounding area. In two to four sentences you can describe the feature, describe the surrounding area, and even give a glue or two about other hidden features of the room. One might investigate the "myriad of flora" in the room described above to find some rare herbs, for example.

Use room titles to your advantage, too. Don't just name all your rooms "Forest." Use names like "Dark Wood - Mushroom Circle," "Dark Wood - Fish Pond," and "Temple of Dusk - Marble Courtyard." The full description is a nice introduction, and a nice way to find out hidden clues, and to just give the player some immersive descriptions. The titles are the only thing a player who already has a passing familiarity with the area should ever need in order to navigate when he's in a hurry.
25 Sep, 2008, niori wrote in the 10th comment:
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believe it or not, i wasn't asking for someone to do my work for me. you can think that i was if you want, but this is not the case. i was just hoping to get a few decent ideas that might i might be able to use to come up with a good one myself at the moment.

as to why the hylians are in a DBZ mud, i have no idea. but when i started as a builder i was told that there were two races that needed newbie areas. hylians and another race that is only found in this mud. so, i took what i knew the most about… the hylians and started making the dungeons from the original Legend of Zelda game for the NES.

the room name is unique, but i can not think up a room description to go with it. i've been in a block for going on a week now. after this room, my area will be completed, and i will only have to make the mobs and objects. that's something that i always have done. make the area first, and then make the mobs/objects for the area. just a personal preference of mine.
25 Sep, 2008, David Haley wrote in the 11th comment:
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Well, you could start by telling us what's in it, without trying to craft a proper description. Surely there is furniture, some kind of floor, something on the walls, some kind of lighting, etc.
25 Sep, 2008, Mabus wrote in the 12th comment:
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DavidHaley said:
Well, you could start by telling us what's in it, without trying to craft a proper description. Surely there is furniture, some kind of floor, something on the walls, some kind of lighting, etc.

Depending on the version it would differ (obviously).

I think "Link to the Past", after the main boss, had a red carpet down the middle of the room leading to a stone platform. Lace curtains in front of green ones hanging above it. And the floating triangles of the "Tri-force". I don't remember the princess there at all, but it has been years.

Could be a different version.
25 Sep, 2008, David Haley wrote in the 13th comment:
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I didn't mean that question literally depending on the version. :wink: (Actually, I'm familiar with the games, FWIW.) I meant it more as an exercise to start fleshing out what this "mysterious" room looks like. (But I think he was talking about the very first game.)
25 Sep, 2008, Mabus wrote in the 14th comment:
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DavidHaley said:
I didn't mean that question literally depending on the version. :wink: (Actually, I'm familiar with the games, FWIW.) I meant it more as an exercise to start fleshing out what this "mysterious" room looks like. (But I think he was talking about the very first game.)

I knew what you were doing. :wink:

I just figured a little post about what I remembered might spark him.
26 Sep, 2008, Igabod wrote in the 15th comment:
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niori said:
believe it or not, i wasn't asking for someone to do my work for me. you can think that i was if you want, but this is not the case. i was just hoping to get a few decent ideas that might i might be able to use to come up with a good one myself at the moment.

as to why the hylians are in a DBZ mud, i have no idea. but when i started as a builder i was told that there were two races that needed newbie areas. hylians and another race that is only found in this mud. so, i took what i knew the most about… the hylians and started making the dungeons from the original Legend of Zelda game for the NES.

the room name is unique, but i can not think up a room description to go with it. i've been in a block for going on a week now. after this room, my area will be completed, and i will only have to make the mobs and objects. that's something that i always have done. make the area first, and then make the mobs/objects for the area. just a personal preference of mine.


i apologize for accusing you of that. just kinda looked like you were looking for an easy way out of a block. i'm sorry i'm not of much use on the subject of zelda cause the only time i ever played it significantly was when i was 10 years old and my memory of the game is completely shot to hell. what mabus said sounds about right though so hopefully thats enough to get you going. if not, just download the game and an nes emulator and play through it a little bit, that should get the creative juices flowing.
26 Sep, 2008, niori wrote in the 16th comment:
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I would like to thank you guys for helping me to 'unblock' myself. after about 3 weeks, i FINALLY got the description that i needed.
27 Sep, 2008, Conner wrote in the 17th comment:
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You mean to say that after all that you're not even going to tell us what you finally came up with? :lol:
27 Sep, 2008, Igabod wrote in the 18th comment:
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i'd certainly like to know the end results too.
0.0/18